Snoring Jokes / Recent Jokes
Ribbons for Snoring
A woman walks into a restaraunt to have lunch with an old friend of hers. When she sees her old friend she is looking very tired and pale. She asks her friend what the problem is and she says that she isnt getting any sleep due to her husbands snoring at night. She says, "oh i know a good remedy for that, all you have to do is when he starts to snore, find a blue ribbon and tie it around his privates." Her friend then agrees to try it out that night.
That night she wakes up to her husbands snoring and decides to try her friends method of curing it. So she goes into her closet and finds a blue ribbon and proceeds to tie it around his privates. Her husband immediately stops snoring and she says this is wonderful and then dozes off to sleep. About an hour later she wakes up to snoring again, looks over at her husband and hes not snoring and then looks to the floor and sees that the dog is snoring. So she decides to try the method on the dog. She goes more...
When his wife's snoring woke him for the third straight night, Harry went to the bathroom medicine cabinet, got some aspirin and popped two tablets into her gaping mouth.' Awk, glub!' choked his startled wife.' What the...'' It's okay, honey. I gave you some aspirin,' he explained.' Why? I don't have a headache!'' Great!' said Harry, triumphantly.' Let's fuck!'
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah, right," she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him.
So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and carefully ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him!
The woman sleeps soundly.
The next morning, the husband wakes up hung over. He more...
hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere."
he pleaded to the last hotel manager, "Or just a bed--I don't
really care where. I m completely exhausted
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted
the manager, "and I m sure he would be glad to split the
cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that
people in adjoining rooms have complained all week.
I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired traveler assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning John came down to breakfast bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed. The manager asked him how he survived.
"Never better." John said.
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other
guy snoring, then?"
"Nope. I shut him up in no time."
"How'd you manage that?"
"He was already in bed, snoring away. when I came more...