Snappy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Women's Snappy Comebacks:
Man: ="Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: ="Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: = "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: = "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: = "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: = "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: = "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: = "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: = "What sign were you born under?" Woman: "No Parking."
Man: = more...

Women's Snappy Comebacks:Man: ="Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."Man: ="Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."Man: = "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."Man: = "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"Man: = "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."Man: = "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book."Man: = "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too."Man: = "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."Man: = "What sign were you born under?" Woman: "No Parking."Man: = "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: more...

When someone questions the obvious give them back a snappy answer.; )

Snappy Answer #1

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without more...

Women's Snappy Comebacks: Man: ="Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man: ="Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: = "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." Man: = "So, wanna go back to my place? " Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" Man: = "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." Man: = "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: = "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." Man: = "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator." Man: = "What sign were you born under?" Woman: "No Parking." Man: = "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" more...