Snapping Jokes

There was a young girl who had just gotton engaged to a very Catholic young man, and she was very happy. The only problem was her husband thought that she was a virgin, and she wasn't. She was afraid that her husband would be able to tell when they finally had sex, so she went to a doctor and asked him what she should do.
The doctor told her "Wrap and elastic band around your leg, and when you finally have sex, snap the elastic band so that it makes a sound. When he asks what it is, tell him that it's your virginity snapping.
So the big night finally comes, and when they start going at it, she snaps the elastic band, just like the doctor told her to.
Her bridegroom yells "Auugggh! What's that!!??!!".
The woman says "Don't worry honey, it's just my virginity snapping" to which her husband replies "Well snap it again, it's got my b*lls!"

A business man was driving along when he spotted a hippie thumbing for a ride. He stopped to pick him up. The hippie sat in the front of the car, bopping and snapping his fingers to some beat in his head.
The business man approached a stop sign and couldn't see clearly to his right, so he asked the hippie if there was anything coming from the right.
"Just a dog, man..just a dog"
So the business man pulled out and CRASH!!
A few days later the business man woke up in a hospital with his arms and legs hung in traction. He looked over and saw the hippie in the bed next to him, his arms and legs also suspended in traction - still bopping and snapping his fingers to some beat in his head.
The business man asked, "Hey, I thought you said there was just a dog coming from the right!?"
Said the hippie, still snapping his fingers in rhythm, "Yeah man, like Greyhound! man..."

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this weekend and my fiance thinks I'm a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?"
After the doctor stops laughing he says, " Medically, no, but here's something you can try. On the wedding night, when you're getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping." The woman loves this idea, and knows her hubby-to-be will fall for it.
They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man. Things begin to progress and as her hubby "slips it in", she snaps the elastic band. The hubby asks:
"What the hell was that?"
The wife explains, "Oh nothing honey, that was just more...

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this week-end and my fiancée thinks I'm a virgin, is there anything you can do to help me"?
After the doctor stopped laughing, he says, " Medically, no but here's something you can try....on the wedding night, when you're getting ready for bed, take a elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh, when your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping."
The woman loves this idea, and knows her hubby - to - be will fall for this.
They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her legs, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man.
Things begin to progress, her hubby "slips it in" she snaps the elastic band, and hubby asks, "what the *@#% was that?
The wife explains, "oh nothing honey, more...

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this weekend and my fiancee thinks I'm a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?"

The doctor says, "Medically, no, but here's something you can try. On the wedding night, when you're getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping."

The woman loves this idea and knows her hubby to be will fall for this. They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man. Things begin to progress, her hubby "slips it in" and she snaps the elastic band. The hubby asks, "What the heck was that?

The wife explains, "Oh nothing honey, that was just my virginity more...