Smoker Jokes

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    Deadly Habits

    Hot 9 months ago

    Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker and the other was a homosexual.
    The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."
    The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey.
    No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.
    His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.
    The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and more...

    Category: Situation
    Body: A lecher, a drunkard and a smoker arrive at hell and the devil says to them:
    "Don't worry, everything is happy here. To you, lecher, I am going to give you a full room of beautiful girls. To you, drunkard, I give you a thousand boxes of beer. And to you, smoker, I give you one ton of cigarettes. I will return after 10 years to see how you are."
    The 10 years passed and the devil returns. The lecher, happily, says to the devil: "Give me more girls than these, they are already boring to me." Soon it's going to see the drunkard and, also happily, says to the devil: "Give me more beers. I have already finished all of them". At last, it's going to see the smoker. But the devil finds the smoker has gotten very upset, and asks him: "Why you are annoying if I have given one ton of cigarettes?"
    Why was the smoker annoying, even if the devil had given him one ton of cigarettes?
    Hint: Read carefully.

    There were three friends, one a smoker, one a gay and the other a drinker. They felt ill and went to the Doctor but the doctor told them they will die on their next plague in any of the above activities.
    They went out on day and the drinker said he cant stay away from drinking so he just dashed to a drinking bar and did good to himself after which he died.
    The smoker and the gay were taking a stroll and the smoker saw a piece of cigarrete on the ground and tried bending to pick it up.
    Gay: 'Hey Hey Hey, Dont Bend else we will all Die'
    Sammie

    Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die." The men left the doctor`s office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead. His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor`s words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend more...

    Chat between Non smoker & Smoker.
    Non Smoker: How many Cigas you smoke per day?
    Smoker: One Packet.
    Non smoker calculating money spending for smoking..
    Non Smoker: Do you now that, from the money that you are spending for smoking for 7 years
    can be use to buy your own house?
    Smoker: Do you Smoke?
    Non smoker: No.
    Smoker: Do you have your own house? ???..

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