Sleeper Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    If a light sleeper sleeps lighter with the light on, does a hard sleeper sleep harder with a hard on?

    A lawyer is driving in the middle of nowhere and his car breaks
    down. After waiting a while, a farmer comes along and asks what
    the problem is. Discovering what the problem is, the farmer
    offers his home to the lawyer to stay for the night.
    Later that night, the lawyer is asleep, and the farmer's wife
    comes in his room and wants to have sex with him. The lawyer
    says, "No, you're husband will wake up and catch us." The wife
    replies, "My husband is a heavy sleeper he won't wake up, I
    promise." To prove it, she takes the lawyer into her room where
    her husband is butt-naked and tells him to pull one of the hairs
    on his ass. The lawyer does it and the farmer doesn't wake up.
    Then they go back to the room and have sex. About 2 hours later,
    the wife comes back and wants more. The lawyer says once again
    "You're husband will wake up and catch us." The wife says, "I
    already told you, he's a more...

    A man stepped onto the overnight train and told the conductor, "I need you to wake me up in Philadelphia. I'm a deep sleeper and can be ornery when I get up, but no matter what, I want you to help me make that stop. Here's $100 to make sure."
    The conductor agreed. The man fell asleep, and when he awoke he heard the announcement that the train was approaching New York. Furious, he collared the conductor. "I gave you $100 to make sure I got off in Philadelphia, you worthless fool!"
    "Wow," another passenger said to his traveling companion. "Is that guy ever mad!"
    "Yeah," his companion replied. "But not half as mad as that guy they forced off the train in Philadelphia."

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