Slave Jokes

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by George Carlin
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am George Carlin, a BAD American.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary, be it Democratic or Republican.
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you should do it in English.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John more...

In a slave market, an owner is showing his slaves for selling.
A man come to the shop and pointing to an American slave and asked, "how much he is?". The owner said, "$100". And the man pioint to a Russian slave, asked again, and the owner reply, "$1000". The man point to Japanese slave, and the owner reply, "$10000".
Finally the man point to a African slave and ask the price, the owner reply, "$100000".
The customer is confused and ask, "Why that black slave cost too much?".
The owner reply, "His brain is still new, he never used his brain".
I don't mean to make someone feel bad.
Coz i am a afro-american :)

The slave driver of the Roman ship stared down at his slaves and yelled. "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that you'll be getting double rations tonight."

The mumbling of the happy slaves was interrupted by the bellowing of the slave driver. "The bad news is that the commander's son wants to water ski."

Boy: Where’s me brekky?
Girl:?
Boy: Get it now!
Girl: When did I become your slave?
Boy: Mum is in Africa!

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark?
Fished, but he didn’t catch much. He only had two worms!

Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
Toga-ether we can rule the world!

Teacher: What’s big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day?
Pupil: The school bus!

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had?
The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had!