Skydiving Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving class, he dove out of the airplane and pulled the ripcord. The chute emerged, tangled, and he cut it free. He then pulled the cord on the reserve chute, and it also was tangled. He prayed to his God and looked down to the ground below. To his amazement, a woman was coming up with equal velocity. "Hey, you know anything about parachutes?" he shoutedto her, as they passed by. The reply: "No... you know anything about Coleman stoves?"

    Skydiving and scuba are similar, skydivers just run out of air faster.

    The story about the pilot ground school got me thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would take time to answer any of our stupid First Timer Questions.
    One guy asked: "If our parachute doesn't open... and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have till we hit the ground?"
    Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: "The rest of your life."

    Late one Sunday afternoon, a blonde from a small town was taking a long walk through a nearby meadow when she was surprised to see a parachutist trapped in the high branches of a tree.
    "Hellllllp!" he cried when he spotted her down below.
    "What are you doing up there?" she called back.
    "I was skydiving," he answered, "and my parachute didn't open!"
    The blonde rolled her eyes. "Well, of course it didn't. If you'd just asked one of the locals, anybody could've told you that *nothing* around here opens on a Sunday!"

    All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.
    One guy asked, “If our chute doesn’t open, and the reserve doesn’t open, how long do we have until we hit the ground? ”
    Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, “The rest of your life. ”

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