Six Jokes / Recent Jokes

Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.

A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.

Unique New York.

Betty Botter had some butter,' 'But,'' she said,' 'this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter-- that would make my batter better.''

So she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter, and she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So' twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.

Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?

A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.

One more...

Six men will be dropped on an island with one van and four kids each, for six weeks. Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes. There is no access to fast food.

Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.

The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done: There is only one TV between them and there is no remote.

The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves either while driving or while making four lunches. They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3: 00a. m; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

The kids vote them off based on performance.

The winner gets to go back to his job.

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
“Oh, about $200 today, ” said the rancher. “But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I’m out. ”
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
“Here, ” he said, “is the check for $900. It’s postdated six years from now. ”

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.
“Listen, ” says the Doc, “I have migraines too, and the advice I’m going to give you isn’t really anything I learned in medical school, but it’s advice that I’ve gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks. ”
Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin.
“Doc! I took your advice and it more...

In a former communist East European country, a schoolgirl came to her teacher and said very proudly:' Our cat has had a litter of six kittens and they are all communists.' The teacher was impressed with the child and invited the inspector to visit the school and see for himself how well indoctrinated her students were. A week later the inspector arrived.' Tell the gentleman about your cat,' the teacher instructed her student.
'She has had six kittens and they are all democrats,' said the girl.
'What!' exclaimed the teacher aghast and let down.' Last week you told me they are all communists. What makes you say now they are democrats?'
'Since then their eyes have opened,' replied the student.

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman “Give me six Double vodkas. ” The barman says “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day. ” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay. ” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too! ” On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women? ” “Yeah, my wife…”