Sit Jokes

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009

RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty



Company more...

This is the story of the night my ten-year-old cat, Rudy, got his head stuck in the garbage disposal. I knew at the time that the experience would be funny if the cat survived, so let me tell you right up front that he's fine. Getting him out wasn't easy, though, and the process included numerous home remedies, a plumber, two cops, an emergency overnight veterinary clinic, a case of mistaken identity, five hours of panic, and fifteen minutes of fame.

My husband, Rich, and I had just returned from a vacation in the Cayman Islands, where I had been sick as a dog the whole time, trying to convince myself that if I had to feel lousy, it was better to do it in paradise. We had arrived home at 9 p.m., a day and a half later than we had planned because of airline problems. I still had illness-related vertigo, and because of the flight delays, had not been able to prepare the class I was supposed to teach at 8:40 the next morning. I sat down at my desk to think and around ten more...

How does Frankenstein sit in his chair? Bolt upright.

A Toronto, a Waterloo and a Queens student were in an airplane that
crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white
throne. God addresses The Waterloo student first.
"What do you believe in?"
The Waterloo student replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion
engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that
if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and
we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and
sit at my right."
God then addresses the Queen's Student; "Well, I believe in power to the
people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things
and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I
also believe in feeling people's pain."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come
and sit at my left."
God then more...

1. HOW WILL FOUR MEN SIT ON A SCIENCE TOOL?
THEY WILL TURN IT UP SIDE DOWN AND SIT ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!
2. THERE WAS ONCE A MOTHER AND A SON, THEY WERE HAVING A BATH TOGETHER, SO THE SON ASKS THE MOM WHAT'S THE PUSSY. SO THE MOM GO ITS A GARAGE. THEN THE SON ASKS WHAT'S THIS(HIS DICK), AND THE MOM GOES ITS A CAR. SO THEN THE SON GOES MOM CAN I PARK MY CAR IN YOUR GARAGE. AND THE MOM SAYS, NO SON THIS GARAGE IS FOR YOUR FATHER'S CAR TO PARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!