Sister Jokes / Hot Jokes
I'm writing this letter to you to tell you that I'm leaving you.
I've been a good man to you for seven years, yet I have nothing to show for it.
Life with you is unbearable. I called you at work just to see if you wanted to have lunch ( you know, maybe try to reconnect) and your boss told me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new aircut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand-new pair of silk boxers to bed.
You came home and ate in two minutes and went straight to sleep after watching TV. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want to be intimate or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore.
Whatever the case, I'm gone.
P. S.: Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving to West Virginia, if that's a problem, TOUGH!
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church.
Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!!
Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.
Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence.
This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"
The man says, "Yep, sure do."
Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"
The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."
Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"
"Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
I think this family is from Broady (Broadmeadows). Broadmeadows is a suburb of Melbourne Australia with a good reputation. There is no love lost between the following 2 AFL Football Teams.
A family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel sports, the son picks up an Essendon football jumper and says to his 20 year old sister "I've decided to become a Bomber supporter i would like this for Christmas".
His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield and says, "Go talk to Mum". Off goes the little lad with Essendon jumper in hand to find his Mum.
"I've decided to be an Essendon supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas".
The mother is outraged by this and throws her moccasins and full V. B. tinnie at him, promptly whacks him around the more...
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, more...
While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with
Abdul Kalam. He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says
it is to surround himself with intelligent people.
Bush asks how he knows if they`re intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Kalam.
"Allow me to demonstrate."
Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime
please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father
child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds, "It`s me, Sir! "
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Kalam. He hangs up
says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes Mr.
President. Thanks a lot. I`ll definitely be using that!" Bush, upon
returning to Washington, decides he`d better put the Condoleeza more...