Simply Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sanath - Swings At Nearly Anything That's Hurled
Kambli - Killed All Mediocre Bowling, Left Immediately
Kapil - Killed Aspiring Pacemen In Land
Sohail - Swore Once, Heralding An Infamous Loss
Prasad - Promised Revenge Against Sohail And Delivered
More - Mouthing Obscene Rubbish Everywhere
Gavaskar - Grafting Away Valiantly, Always Successfully Killed Any Result, Goes Around Venting Angry Spiel Kicking About Rudely
Azhar - At Zenith Had Ambrose Reeling
Azharuddin - Almost Zaheer-like His Artistry, Rivetting Umpteen... Devoted Doting Indian Nationals
Vishy - Vodka Is Sweet, He Yells
Tendulkar - Tiny, Exciting, Neverending Dynamo Undyingly Labours, Keeps A Record
Amarnath - After Many A Reincarnation, Now Acknowledged Top Hand
Prasanna - Prince Radiant Among Spinners, Astutely Nailed Nimble Attackers
Bedi - Beautifully Executed Deliveries Indefinitely
Chandra - Cleverly Hides Another Nagging Delivery Really more...
(Forwarded by a mate in the UK)
A mother had three daughters. She asked all three of them to make sure they wrote home after their weddings and tell her about married life.
The first daughter wrote back on the second day after her marriage. The letter arrived with a single message, "Maxwell House Coffee."
Mother was confused but finally noticed an advertisement for Maxwell House Coffee. The advertisement said "Satisfaction to the Last Drop." So, Mother was happy.
Then the second daughter got married and after a week she sent home her reply. The message simply read "Rothmans."
So the Mother looked for an advertisement for Rothmans. She found one, and it read "KING SIZE." Mother was happy.
Then it was the third daughter's wedding. Mother was anxious because this time it took four weeks for a message to arrive. When it did the message was simply "British Airways."
Mother was concerned. She frantically more...
Why Men Always Have Opinions, Even On Subjects They Know Nothing About In the animal kingdom, males
exhibit what is known as "display behavior" in order to attract females and to ward off rival males.
They thrust out their chests, ruffle their plummage, and generally try to appear more impressive than
they really are. On nature shows, this is comic. It appears comic, too, when it shows up among
humans: the guy in the Camaro with all the gold chains, say, or Vanilla Ice's haircut. It has been
discovered that display behavior is much more common among humans than had been previously believed.
Have you ever wondered why:
Men who have never been west of Kentucky can tell you about the mentality of the Japanese?
Men who can't pay their credit-card bills have a plan for dealing with the national debt?
Men who aren't on speaking terms with their families know how to achieve peace in the Middle
East?
Men who flunked high-school more...
Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on television.
Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree", you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control more...
Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.
COMPUTERS & ELECTRONICS:As depicted in movies, Word processors never display a cursor. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences. All monitors display inch-high letters. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces. Those that don't, have incredibly powerful text-bases command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English. Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS" (see "Fortress"). All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the more...
Computers in Movies:
1. Word processors never display a cursor.
2. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
3. All monitors display inch-high letters.
4. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
5. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
7. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." (See "Fortress")
8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
9. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some more...