Similarity Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Philippe, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Philippe and says,' Philippe, kiss me!'
    Philippe grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.
    'What are you doing, Philippe?' says the startled Marie.
    'I am Philippe the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!'
    She smiles and they start kissing.
    When things began to heat up little, Marie says,' Philippe, kiss me lower.'
    Philippe tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her chest.
    'Philippe! What are you doing?' asks the bewildered Marie.
    'I am Philippe the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!'
    They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers,' Philippe, kiss me lower!'
    Our hero rips off her panties, grabs more...

    Procrastination is like masturbation...
    Sure it feels good at first, but then you realize you're only screwing yourself.

    Chuck Noris like a horse

    Hot 2 years ago

    Chuck Noris isn’t hung like a horse.
    A horse is hung like him..

    10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).
    9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights).
    8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
    7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials".
    6. Family coming to stay with you.
    5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.
    4. Buying food you don't normally buy ... and in large quantities.
    3. Days off from work.
    2. Candles.

    1 And the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas...At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!

    A man on a bus spends much of the journey staring at the guy sitting opposite. Before long the other guy starts staring back and demands to know why he is the focus of so much attention.

    “I’m very sorry,” begins the first man, “but if it weren’t for the moustache you’d look just like my wife!”

    “But I don’t have a moustache!” protests the other.

    “See what I mean?” he replies.

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