A man had a siamese cat that howled all night, every night. The sleepless man concluded that the cat has too much testosterone and took him to the vet to be castrated. To the great surprise of the man and all his neighbors, the cat continued howling.
"Why are you doing it now?" they asked the cat.
"Now I am a consultant."
A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn out to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his apartment. He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other.
He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he asks her what she'd like to do.
She says, "Is that a trombone in the corner? I'd love to play your trombone."
So she plays it while he screws her sister.
A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy's apartment building. One of the girls says, "Let's stop up and see that guy."
The other girl says, "Gee... do you think he'll remember us?"
An Unlikely Conversation
(written by Terry Herrin in a reply on Software Creations BBS)
Bart "I'd like to upgrade my Siamese to an Abyssinian."
Clerk "Do you want a red or a tan Abby?"
Bart "I dunno. Is there a difference besides the color?"
Clerk "Well, the red one is faster, but costs quite a bit more. Personally, I don't think it's worth it. The price/performance isn't as good as the tan one."
Bart "Do you think I need that extra speed?"
Clerk "Depends on what you're getting it for. Any big dogs near your house?"
Clerk "Well then, you'd better go ahead and get the red one. Unless you want to save money and get the tan. The tan is up-gradable to the red later. We offer our "Red Dye Overdrive Kit" for $100. Seventy percent increase in performance."
Bart "Let's go with a tan one."
Clerk "Ok. That's gonna run you $400. What more...
Why did the Siamese twins move to England?
So the other one could drive.
Why did the Siamese twins move to England? So the other one could drive.