Shower Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this lady who was in the shower and her little boy walked in on her taking a shower & he saw her pubic hairs and says:
"Mommy what's that?" as he pointed down to her.
"Well, that's Mommy's washcloth."
The next day he walked in on her again, and asked her again. She says it was her washcloth. Well, this time when he walked out she shaved it off because she got tired of him asking.
So the next day when he walked in on her, he asks:
"Mommy what happened to your washcloth?"
"Uh, Mommy lost it." So the little boy walked out.
The next day he walked in on his mom and says:
"Hey Mommy, the maid found your washcloth. She is washing Daddy's face with it!"

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch
your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
14. Pee (in the shower).
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor more...

How to Shower Like a Woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. 11. Shave armpits and legs. 12. Turn off shower. 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14. Get out of shower. Dry more...

One day a boy comes home from school and walked in on his mother, who was in the shower. The boy looks down and says,"Mom, Whats that!" looking down at her vagina area. His mother looks at him disturbed and replies,"Oh honey thats just my BUSH."
The next day the boy comes home from school he walks in on his mom who was in the shower again.The boy looks down and screams,"Mom, What happened to your BUSH!" His mother looks at him and said,"Oh honey I think I lost it."(she shaved her pubic hair)
The very next day the boy excitedly comes running in the house and yells to his mother,"Mom I-I found your BUSH!!" His mother looking shocked ask,"Oh honey where did you find my BUSH?" The boy says to his mother,"The next door lady has it and shes rubbing it in daddys face!"

ONE DAY A BOY WAS TAKING A SHOWER WITH HIS MOTHER AND HE SAYS ''MOMMY WHAT ARE THOSE''? SHE REPLIES..''OH THOSE ARE MY HEAD LIGHTS''THE BOY THEN AGAIN ASKS ''MOMMY WHATS THAT''? SHE THEN REPLIES ''OH THATS MY GARDEN'' THE BOY SAYS THANKS AND HOPS OUT OF THE SHOWER.
THE NEXT DAY THE BOY TAKES A SHOWER WITH HIS DAD.THE BOT THEN ASKS HIS DAD ''DADDY WHATS THAT''? THE FATHER REPLIES ''OH THATS MY SNAKE''THE BOY SAYS THANKS AND HOPS OUT OF THE SHOWER. THAT NIGHT THE BOY HAD A BAD DREAM SO HE WENT INTO HIS PARENTS ROOM SNEAKS UNDER THE SHEETS AND SAYS''MOMMY MOMMY QUICK TURN ON YOUR HEAND LIGHTS THERES A SNAKE IN YOUR GARDEN!!!

I was just stepping into the shower this morning when my SO
handed me the phone, telling me it was someone from a long
distance company. I was eager to get into the shower; my
conversation went like this:
Me: Hello?
Him: Hello, sir. I'm from . How would
you like to save money off your long distance calling?
Me: If I told you that I was very happy with my current carrier, would
that preclude any further conversation?
Him: Actually, no, sir. I have to hear a certain number of "no's" before
I let you go.
Me: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Him: Have a nice day, sir.

Calling in Sick.... A Cat Owner's Story Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating to reveal. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown. In this case, the truth hurt. I mean it really hurt in the place men feel the most pain. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. As the daily routine prescribes, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife call out to me from the kitchen. "Ed!" she hearkened. "The garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it." "You know where the button is." I protested through the shower (pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself!" "I am more...