Shorter Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A guy went to see the doctor because he was a little too well-endowed. In fact, it was 25 inches long and he couldn't get women to have sex with him.
    The doctor told him that there was nothing that he could do, but recommended a witch doctor.
    The witch doctor took a look at the problem and told the man to go to a particular pond deep in the forest and talk to a frog that lived there. "Ask the frog to marry you," she said, "and each time the frog says no, you'll be 5 inches shorter."
    Worth a try, he thought to himself, and with that, he dashed into the forest. He found the pond and spotted the frog on the other side, sitting on a log. "Frog, will you marry me?" He called.
    The frog looked at him, disinterested at best, and called back, "No."
    The guy looked down and sure enough, he's 5 inches shorter. Hey, this is great, he thought. I'll try that again, "Will you marry me?"
    The frog rolled his eyes, and shouted more...

    A lady had a height problem - she was TOO tall, being excatly 2 meters tall. She hated the way she had to duck to walk through a doorway, the way she felt so uncomfortable in a car... So she visited an expert. The expert said:"Go visit the Dwarven Town. It's full of dwarfs. Find any dwarf, and ask him if he'll marry you. Every time a dwarf says 'no,' you grow 10 cm shorter!"The lady did as she was told. She went to the Dwarven Town, and found a dwarf, and asked if he would marry her. He refused. She found herself 10 cm shorter. She quickly repeated this act another time on another dwarf. Now 180 cm tall, she decided to ask one more dwarf then go home. She boldly walked up to a dwarf and asked if he would marry her. The dwarf replied:"No, no, no, no, no...! I don't want to marry a tall person like you! You're too tall! No, no, no, no, no!"

    A man who is overly endowed, so much so that he has a 25 inch penis which is causing him a great deal of problems, goes to see his doctor for help.
    "Medically, there is nothing I can do to help you," the doctor says, "but I do know a witch that may be able to help." The doctor then gives him the directions to where he can find the witch.
    The witch stares at the man's problem in amazement and then instructs him to go deep into the forest where he will find a pond. "In this pond," the witch says, "you will find a frog. Ask the frog to marry you. Each time the frog says no, your problem will be 5 inches shorter."
    Thinking it was definitely worth a try, the man heads off into the forest, finds the pond and sees the frog sitting on a log. "Will you marry me?" he shouts out to the frog.
    The frog looks at him, totally disinterested, and shouts back "No!" He immediately looks down and, sure enough, he's 5 inches more...

    A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is having a problem with this cumbersome instrument and has had more than one complaint. "Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there anything you can do for me?" The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you." So the doctor gives him directions to the witch.
    The man calls upon the witch and relays his story. "Witch, my penis is 25 inches long and I need help. Can anything be done to help me? You are my only hope." The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, "I think I may be able to help you with your problem. Do this. Go deep into the forest. You will find a pond. In this pond, you will find a frog sitting on a log. This frog has magic. You say to frog, will you marry me? When the frog says no, you will find five inches less to your problem."
    The man's more...

    The Speed of Time by Age 0-9 Extremely slow. Even a trip to the store with Mom seems like going to Albania - by covered wagon. Most common phrase: "Is it Christmas yet?"10-19 Still slow. Scientific evidence seems to show that school clocks actually move backwards just before the bell rings.20-29 Alternately fast and slow. Weekends seem shorter and shorter, yet paychecks seem further and further apart.30-39 Time achieves warp speed, except when put on hold on the telephone and forced to endure anything longer than 5 seconds of Muzak. Most common phrase: "Is it Christmas already?"40-49 Still fast. Seems like just yesterday when Jerry Brown said he might run for President. Wait a minute! It WAS yesterday when he said that. Also, Dick Clark still looks the same. Could time be slowing down? 60-69 Hey! What happened to 50-59? 70 + Unbelievably fast. Wars used to last years. Now it seems like they're over in a couple weeks.

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