One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife.
Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a movie when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under the passenger seat. Pointing to something out the passenger window to distract his wife, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window.
They arrived at the theater a short time later and were about to get out of the car when his wife asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?"
Your Moma is so poor when I saw her wobbling down the strret with one shoe, I hollered-"lost a shoe", and she said-"Nope... just found one..."
A young couple was out cruising one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off all of your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.
When the speedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off, he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car over.
The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help.", he pleads. She replies, "I can't, I'm naked."
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover your crotch with that and go get help from the gas station down the road."
She takes the shoe, covers herself between the legs, and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch more...
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
A Jewish man sits next to two Arab men on a flight from New York to Miami. The Jewish man kicks off his shoes. Meanwhile, one of the Arabs says he would like a coke. Since he was by the aisle, the Jewish man says, "I'll get it for you," and goes off in his stockinged feet. While he was gone, one of the Arab men spit into the Jewish fellow's left shoe. Later, the other Arab man says that he too would like a coke, and the Jewish man goes off to fetch it. This time, his right shoe gets spitted into.
As the flight was ending, the Jewsih man slid his shoes back on and through his socks, he felt the squishiness. He immediately figured out what had happened and exclaimed, "When will it end!!?? When will all this enmity cease, the hatred, the anger, the spitting in shoes and the pishing in coca cola!!??"