Shifted Jokes

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never go for me carrying on like
that," so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after
that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they
lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because
he had to walk. On is way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma
of baked beans overwhelmed him.
Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill
affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had
three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he "putt-putted". more...

Once upon a time, there lived a women who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but, unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on. So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, she putt-putted. And, upon more...

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction. When it became apparent that she and her boyfriend would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man but I don't think he can live with my problems." So she decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up beans.
A year later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she could walk off any ill effect by the time she reached home. So she stopped at the diner, and before she knew it she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted.
Upon arriving more...

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day, he met a girl and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this," so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Soon after, they were married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he telephoned his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk.
On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans completely overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk, he thought he would walk off any ill effects before he arrived home. So, he went in and ordered three extra large helpings of beans.
He farted all the way home. By the time he arrived home, he felt more...

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never go for me carrying on like that," so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up his beloved baked beans, and shortly after, that they got married.
It was his birthday a few months later and, on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in the country, the man called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home.
So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he' putt-putted'. He' putted' more...