Shifted Jokes

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    Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
    He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
    on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
    would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never go for me carrying on like
    that," so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after
    that they got married.
    A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they
    lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because
    he had to walk. On is way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma
    of baked beans overwhelmed him.
    Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill
    affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had
    three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he "putt-putted". more...

    Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
    beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a
    very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
    Then one day she met a man and fell in love.
    When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to
    herself, "
    He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go
    for this carrying on."
    She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
    Some months later her car broke down on the way home from
    work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and
    told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.
    On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the
    baked beans was more than she could stand.
    Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would
    walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
    So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
    consumed three large orders of more...

    Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction. When it became apparent that she and her boyfriend would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man but I don't think he can live with my problems." So she decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up beans.
    A year later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she could walk off any ill effect by the time she reached home. So she stopped at the diner, and before she knew it she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted.
    Upon arriving more...

    Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day, he met a girl and fell in love.
    When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this," so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Soon after, they were married.
    A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he telephoned his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk.
    On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans completely overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk, he thought he would walk off any ill effects before he arrived home. So, he went in and ordered three extra large helpings of beans.
    He farted all the way home. By the time he arrived home, he felt more...

    Once upon a time, I had a maddening passion for baked beans. I loved them, but they always had a very embarrassing and somewhat odious reaction on me. Then one day I met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent we would marry, I thought to myself, she is such a sweet girl, she will never go for this kind of carrying on. So I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. We were married shortly thereafter.
    Some months later, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since we lived in the country, I called my wife and told her I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way home, I passed a small cafe' and the odor of freshly baked beans was overwhelming, I had several miles to walk so I figured that the effects of the beans would wear off before I got home. So I stopped at the cafe' and had three orders of baked beans.
    All the way home I putt-putted and after arriving, felt reasonably safe that I had putted my last putt. My wife seemed somewhat excited to see me more...

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