Seymour Jokes

A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to "The Unknown Soldier". At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: "Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg".The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.The resident replied, "As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, but as an accountant-Oy! He was something."

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Seymour!
Seymour who?
Seymour if you look out of the window! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Seymour!
Seymour who?
Seymour if you have a pane of glass in your door! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Seymour!
Seymour who?
Seymour if you open the door!

A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to "The Unknown Soldier". At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed:
"Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg".
The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.
The resident replied, "As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, but as an accountant-Oy! He was something."

Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. "Hungry, Seymour?" the Lord asked."I could eat," said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka. The next day, the Lord again asked Seymour if he were hungry, and Seymour again said, "I could eat."Once again, a can of tuna was opened and shared, while down below Seymour noticed a feast of caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles, brandy, and chocolates. The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. Meekly, Seymour said, "Lord, I am very happy to be be in heaven as a reward for the good life I lived. But, this is heaven, and all I get to eat is tuna. But in the Other Place, they eat like Kings. I just don't understand." "To be honest, more...

Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven."Hungry, Seymour?" the Lord asked."I could eat," said Seymour.The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka.The next day, the Lord again asked Seymour if he was hungry, and Seymour again said, "I could eat."Once again, a can of tuna was opened and shared, while down below Seymour noticed a feast of caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles, brandy and chocolates.The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. Meekly, Seymour said, "Lord, I am very happy to be in heaven as a reward for the good life I lived. But, this is heaven, and all I get to eat is tuna. But in the Other Place, they eat like Kings. I just don't understand.""To be honest, Seymour," the more...