Select Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    1. select Bait
    2. select hole
    3. pull out big rod
    4. cast rod in
    5. go upstream not down
    6. pay for bait when finished
    7. leave with chatch

    If you do, here's a preview of the READ ME FIRST page
    Congratulations on your purchase of Windows 98 (c), the latest version of the world's #1 computer operating system from Microsoft.
    Before using your new software, please take the time to read these instructions carefully. Failure to do so may further limit the terms of the limited warranty. Windows 98 (c) represents a significant technological improvement over Microsoft's previous operating system, Windows 95 (c). You'll notice immediately that
    "98" is a higher number than "95"
    a better than 3 percent increase.
    But that's not all. Windows 98 (c) contains many features not found in Windows 95 (c), or in any competing computer operating system, (if there are any of course).
    Among the improvements:
    faster storing and retrieving of files (not in all models),
    enhanced "Caps Lock" and back-space functionality,
    smoother handling,
    less knocking and pinging,
    an more...

    Microsoft Clarifies Trademark Policies
    REDMOND, Washington - January 4, 1995 - In response to customer inquiries, Microsoft today clarified the naming policy for Bob(tm), its new software product designed for computer beginners. Contrary to rumors, Microsoft will not demand that all persons formerly named "Bob" immediately select new first names.
    "I don't know where these rumors come from," commented Steve Balmer, Microsoft Executive Vice President for Worldwide Sales and Support. "It's ridiculous to think Microsoft would force people outside the computer industry to change their names. We won't, and our licensing policies for people within the industry will be so reasonable that the Justice Department could never question them."
    Balmer said employees of other computer companies will be given the opportunity to select new names, and will also be offered a licensing option allowing them to continue using their former names at very low more...

    REDMOND, Washington-January 4, 1995-In response to customer
    inquiries, Microsoft today clarified the naming policy for Bob(tm),
    its new software product designed for computer beginners. Contrary
    to rumors, Microsoft will not demand that all persons formerly named
    "Bob" immediately select new first names.
    "I don't know where these rumors come from," commented Steve
    Balmer, Microsoft Executive Vice President for Worldwide Sales and
    Support. "It's ridiculous to think Microsoft would force people
    outside the computer industry to change their names. We won't, and
    our licensing policies for people within the industry will be so
    reasonable that the Justice Department could never question them."
    Balmer said employees of other computer companies will be given the
    opportunity to select new names, and will also be offered a
    licensing option allowing them to continue using their former names
    at very low more...

    * Start Ms-Excel
    * Select New document
    * Select Work-Book
    * Press
    * Enter X97: L97 and Click OK
    * Press TAB onces
    * By holding Shift+CTRL click the toolbar icon for "Chart"
    **********************************************************
    : -) E N J O Y (-:
    **********************************************************

  • Recent Activity