It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by ST. Patrick himself, and he addressed the boys thusly: "Lads, I'm here to welcome you to heaven where you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing, when you go through these gates, don't step on any of the ducks or you'll be punished for eternity. Sean went in first and was amazed to see that the entire ladscape was encompassed by ducks, and try as he might, sure enough he stepped on one. He was immediately joined by one of the homliest colleens he's ever laid eyes on, and she said,"Well love, you stepped on a duck and now we're together for all time."And of course the exact same thing happened to Michael only his companion was even the worse for wear. By this time Tim was absolutely terrified. And he gingerly managed to make it most of the way across the court without stepping on a single duck. Suddenly, his arm was taken by a young more...
My brother Sean stopped by a sandwich shop one afternoon and placed his order with the girl at the counter. She rattled off a list of condiments, but he stopped her when she asked if he wanted white cheese or yellow.
"What's the difference?" Sean asked.
"Hello?" replied the girl, sighing and rolling her eyes. "The COLOR is different!"
Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms. Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those? " Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing! So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try. They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy". Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!" Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............ No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!"
Sean Connery has been quiet of late, having done no work in quite a while. So he decides to phone his agent and find out what sort of jobs are going. The agent says that he'll make a few enquiries, but he isn't sure that there is much call for aging Scots actors, even of Sean's stature.The next day, the agent calls back and says "Sean, I have great news. I have found you a job. It's not great, but it's a start""What ish it?" asks Sean"Its an advertisement for television. The producer is keen to meet you. You have to be there for ten-ish""Tennish?" says Sean "But I don't have a racquet"
Sean was fishing and it started to rain, so he moved under the bridge
His pal McGinty saw him and called, "Sean, me boy, are ye afeared of a
few spots o' rain, now?"
Sean replied, "I'm not...the fish come here fer shelter."