Scout Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Pope, a boy scout, and the smartest guy in the world are on an airplane that is going down (because the pilot had a heart attack).
    The boy scout says, "Well, there are only two parachutes aboard. Who is going to use them?""Since I am the smartest guy in the world I feel I need to use a parachute." So, he grabs a bag and jumps out."Looks like there is only one left, and since I have lived a full life you can use the other parachute." said the Pope."No. We can both live!" says the boy scout."How?" asked the Pope."The smartest guy in the world grabbed my backpack, not the parachute!"

    Survival Guide

    Hot 1 year ago

    A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
    Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master. Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
    "Why's that Timmy?"
    "Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
    "And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently. "Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"

    True Realism

    Hot 2 years ago

    A troop of Boy Scouts were being used as "guinea pigs" in a test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared for by the emergency units.
    One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout lay "wounded" for several hours.
    When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was supposed to be, they found nothing but a brief note:
    "Have bled to death and gone home..."

    Desert Survival

    Hot 2 years ago

    A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert."What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked.Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand."Yes Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master.Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards.""Why's that Timmy?""Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration...""And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently."Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten."

    The Red Shirt

    Hot 2 years ago

    One day, a pirate ship is cruising the seas off the coast of England when the scout yells, "There's a English ship on the horizon." Immediately, the crew looks to the captain, who valiantly says, "Bring me my red shirt." The captain dons the shirt and the British ship commences the attack. The captain and his men fight valiantly and crush the british attackers.A few days later, the scout yells, "There are three English ships on the horizon." Immediately, the crew looks to the captain, and again he says (in his most manly voice), "Bring me my red shirt." Again, the English ships begin their attack and the pirates fight off all three of the attacking ships.After the battle is over, one of the mates sheepishly approaches the captain and asks, "Sir, why do you keep asking for your red shirt?" The captain replies, "I ask for the red shirt so if I am injured in battle, you will not see my blood, and will continue to fight." The more...

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