Saturn Jokes

Actor Haley Joel Osment was injured Thursday when the Saturn he was driving hit a brick pillar and flipped over.
Police have begun a thorough investigation - not of the accident, but of Osment's business manager. Clearly someone is stealing money if Osment is driving a Saturn.

A Press Release -
WASHINGTON D.C. The House Appropriations subcommittee on NASA oversight, in another effort to reduce the NASA budget, passed a resolution today to downsize the solar system. According to an unnamed congressional staffer, House Republicans felt there has been "too much redundancy in the solar system" and that streamlining the 4.5 billion year old planetary system is long overdue. Such action would give NASA fewer places to go and this would allow the agency to carry out its space exploration goals within the funding profile that the House proposed earlier this summer.
"Look, we have three terrestrial planets" said Congressman Rip U. Apart (R, Del.), "and only one of them really works! So why not get rid of the other two and clean up the neighborhood?" Most subcommittee members felt that while downsizing was definitely in the cards, eliminating both Mars and Venus was going too far. "We have too many international commitments more...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Saturn!
Saturn who?
Saturnday Night Fever!