Sabbath Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.After consulting the Bible, the priest says, " My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."The man thinks: " What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, " My son, sex is definitely play."The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the more...

Moe and Lenny are strolling home from shul one Saturday morning. Suddenly a cab speeds past, and their friend, Irving, is running frantically behind it, flailing his arms wildly.
"Well," said Lenny, "I never imagined our good friend Irving was a Sabbath violator! Look at him running for that taxi."
"Wait a minute," Moe replied. "Didn't you read that book I lent you,' The Other Side of the Story', about the command to judge other people favorably? I'll bet we can think of hundreds of excuses for Irving's behavior."
"Yeah, like what?"
"Maybe he's sick and needs to go to the hospital."
"Come on! He was running 60 miles an hour after that cab - he's healthier than Arnold Schwartzenweis."
"Well, maybe his wife's having a baby."
"She had one last week."
"Well, maybe he needs to visit her in the hospital."
"She's home."
"Well, more...

GoLDBERG was very pious. He went to the synagogue every Sabbath. And every Sabbath he prayed to God to let him win first prize in the national lottery. Alas! he prayed in vain. Finally he waxed wrath with the Lord:' Am I asking too much? Here I am - a God-fearing, devout Jew. All I ask of you is to win first prize in the lottery- surely a very small matter for you, O Lord!' •
At that moment the heavens opened and the Lord's resounding voice was heard:' Goldberg! Give me a chance! At least buy a lottery ticket!'

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question.
The priest says after consulting the Bible, "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted on Sundays."
The man thinks: "What does a priest know of sex?" He goes to a minister, a married man, experienced, for the answer.
He queries the minister and receives the same reply; Sex is work and not for the Sabbath!
Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge - A rabbi.
The rabbi ponders the question and states, "My son, sex is
definitely play."
The man replies," Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many
others tell me sex is work?!"
The rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work... my wife would have the maid do it."

Not certain whether sex is work or play, a man was wondering whether having sex on the Sabbath was a sin or not. He decides to visit a priest and ask him for his opinion.
After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "Son, I am positive that sex is work and is not permitted on Sundays."
Not sure whether the priest would actually know anything about sex, the man decides to ask a minister, who was a married man. The minister gives him the same response, "Sex is work and not for the Sabbath."
Not at all satisfied with either of the responses, he decides to seek out a rabbi and get his views. "Son," the rabbi says, "sex is definitely play."
"Rabbi, so many others have told me sex is work," says the man, "how can you be so sure it is play?"
Speaking softly, the rabbi replies, "My son, if sex was work, my wife would have the maid do it."

A man wondered if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin. The reason is because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest. He asks for the priest's opinion. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on the Sabbath."

The man thinks, "What does a priest know about sex?" So, he decides to ask a minister. The minister gives the same reply as the priest had given him. Sex is work, and therefore not permitted on the Sabbath. Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi.

The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, "My son, sex is definitely play." The man asks, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others are convinced that sex is work?" The Rabbi replies, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, " My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."The man thinks: " What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, " My son, sex is definitely play."The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the more...