Rupee Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rich widower miser went back to India and married a young village girl. The girl did not like his hugging and kissing all the time. He thought of a scheme to teach his wife not to hate his American Life Style. He bought a piggy bank and told his wife that every time he kisses or hugs her, he will put a rupee coin in the piggy bank and at the end of the month she can open the bank and buy a new saree with the money. The scheme worked very well. The young wife showed more willingness to be kissed and hugged. At the end of the month he gave her the key and told his wife to open the piggy bank. What he was did not please him. There were many 5 and 20 rupee bills along with rupee coins in the box.
”Where did these come from?! ” he demanded angrily. “I’ve been putting only rupee coins! ”
"Not everyone is as kanjoos as you! ” replied the wife.

16 Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
( _ ) Champak
( _ ) Indrajal
( _ ) Star and Style
( _ ) The great Punjab Dairy
( _ ) Blank sheets
17 How often do you bathe:
( _ ) Weekly
( _ ) Monthly
( _ ) Yearly
( _ ) Not Applicable
18 Color of teeth:
( _ ) Yellow
( _ ) Brownish-Yellow
( _ ) Brown
( _ ) Black
( _ ) N/A
19 Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
( _ ) Manikchand
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JALANDHAR BOARD COLLEGE EXAM QUESTION PAPER...........
(this one's little difficult than last year's)
1. Write your name in less than 20 minutes and 20 letters ________________________
(only alphabets allowed, no numeric digits or "_" allowed)
2. Sex?
( ) Male
( ) Female
( ) Sardar
3. What's ur age group?
( ) less than 0
( ) equal to 0
( ) greater than 0
4. What is 2 + more...

Elderly Man Sued for Stopping at Stop Sign
September 9, 2002 - Atlanta, USA
In a case possibly first of its kind, 67 year old Arthur Thompson is being sued by 32 year old Lynn Manaouski for stopping at a 4-way stop sign. In her statement she described how she came up to the intersection leading into her downtown condo, and rear ended the driver in front of her due to his 'complete and full stop'. She continues to say that of the almost 2 years of living in that particular condominium complex, she had not once been behind someone who had made a full stop at the stop sign, and that his inability to be 'consistent with typical driving patterns' caused the accident. As a result, she is convinced that Mr. Thompson is directly responsible for the accident and should be held accountable for all incurred costs of repair to both vehicles. When reminded that it is the law to make a complete stop at a stop sign, her abrupt response was "I am quite capable of deciding when it is a more...

At a political meeting recently held in a populace town down south of colombo, where many have gone to the middle east for green pastures, a politician aspiring to become a deputy minister had this to say to the much applause of his audience
" When we are in government we see the rupee has its true value against the American dollar. When they are in power they contain the value to the tune of the world bank. Be it known on the 2nd when these American stooges are gone we will see that the value of the rupee to the dollar will go up daily and put more money in your pockets for the hard earned middle east dollars your dear one's are sending"

An elderly and rich bania, mean in money matters, acquired a pretty young wife who was a spendthrift. He thought of a scheme to teach his wife the habit of saving. He presented her with a small tin box with a slit in its lid, locked it and put the key in his pocket.' Meyree Jaan/ he said to her,' every time you let me kiss you, I will put a five rupee coin into the box through this slit on top. At the end of the month I will unlock it. All the money in it will be yours to spend as you like.'
The scheme worked very well. The young wife showed more willingness to be kissed and her elderly husband was quite happy to part with five rupee coins for what he got in return.
At the end of the month, with a grand gesture he produced the key from his pocket and unlocked the box. What he saw did not please him because there were many ten and twenty rupee notes in the box.' Where did these come from?' he demanded angrily.' I've only been putting in five rupee coins.'
'Not everyone more...

Santa and Banta are sitting in a bar getting pretty loaded. Suddenly, Banta throws up all over himself.
"Aw man, my wife is going to kill me when she sees this," he says.
Santa replies, "Don't worry about it. That happened to me before. Here's what you do. Put a 100 rupee note in your pants pocket. When you get home, tell your wife that some drunk threw up on you and he gave you Rs 100 to pay for the cleaning, OK?"
"All right, I'll try it."
So Banta goes home and his wife immediately starts bitching about his suit. "Now look what you've done to yourself!!"
"No, no, " Banta slurs back. "Some drunk guy puked on me, but he gave me this 100 rupee note to get my suit cleaned."
With that he reaches into his pocket and throws the money on the table.
Mrs. Banta looks at it and says, "I thought that you said he only gave you one 100 rupee note. How come there are two here?"
Banta slurs back, more...

A mother narrates a dialogue between Zia-ul-Haq, former military ruler of Pakistan who declared himself the President, and his assistant in a plane. Said Zia,' If I throw a 100 rupee note, it v/>uld make at least the one Pakistani who found it happy again.'
'Ten 10 rupee notes would be a better idea,' replied his assistant.' They would make ten Pakistanis happy.'
The pilot who overheard the conversation butted
in, ' If I threw both of you out it would make
15 crore Pakistanis happy.'