Ruins Jokes / Recent Jokes

These are questions that people actually asked of Park Rangers.
Grand Canyon National Park:
Was this man-made?
Do you light it up at night?
I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom - where is it?
Is the mule train air conditioned?
So where are the faces of the presidents?
Everglades National Park:
Are the alligators real?
Are the baby alligators for sale?
Where are all the rides?
What time does the two o'clock bus leave?
Denali National Park (Alaska):
What time do you feed the bears?
Can you show me where the yeti lives?
How often do you mow the tundra?
How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
Mesa Verde National Park:
Did people build this, or did Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
What did they worship in the kivas - their own made-up religion?
Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?
Carlsbad Caverns National more...

Below are questions that people "actually asked" of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity.(Source: Outside Magazine)Grand Canyon National Park...Was this man-made? Do you light it up at night? I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom - where is it? So where are the faces of the presidents? Everglades National Park...Are the alligators real? Are the baby alligators for sale? Where are all the rides? What time does the two o'clock bus leave? Denali National Park (Alaska)...What time do you feed the bears? Can you show me where the yeti lives? How often do you mow the tundra? How much does Mount McKinley weigh? Mesa Verde National Park...Did people build this, or did Indians? Why did they build the ruins so close to the road? What did they worship in the kivas - their own made-up religion? Do you know of any undiscovered ruins? Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado? Carlsbad Caverns more...

Who Says There's No Such Thing As a Stupid Question?
These are questions that people actually asked of Park
Rangers around the country, proving once again that there
is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity.
(Source: Outside Magazine, May 1995, pp. 120-121)
Grand Canyon National Park
Was this man-made?
Do you light it up at night?
I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -
where is it?
Is the mule train air conditioned?
So where are the faces of the presidents?
Everglades National Park
Are the alligators real?
Are the baby alligators for sale?
Where are all the rides?
What time does the two o'clock bus leave?
Denali National Park (Alaska)
What time do you feed the bears?
Can you show me where the yeti lives?
How often do you mow the tundra?
How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
Mesa Verde National Park
Did people build this, or did Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so more...

The revelation that golf carts do not have four-wheel drive came to me one morning as I tried to find my ball in the mud, which I found out later was actually not part of the golf course at all but rather the site of a pending condo project, half a block away. I must have missed the out-of-bounds marker when I was crossing the freeway. It was just one more lesson in the complex world of golf.

I remember the first time I played. My twosome was paired up with another twosome. After my tee-off on the first hole went somewhat awry, landing on the clubhouse roof, one of the other players asked if I had a handicap. I thought his joke in poor taste and threatened him with my 9-iron. Now, of course, I realize that having a handicap is a good thing, even if it is 52.

Learning the rules and language of golf is crucial. It separates the obvious beginning from someone just having another bad day. Therefore, I have from experience compiled a few lessons that may help other more...

clever creatures
A visitor to Glacier National Park in Montana lost his car keys while attempting to lure a ground
squirrel by dangling the keys out in front of the critter. The squirrel grabbed the keys and ran down
a hole with them. The keys were never retrieved, a ranger cited the man for harassment of wildlife,
and a locksmith was called to make new car keys.
putting our loved ones at risk for a photo
In May of 1994, Tony Moore, 43, of Marietta, Georgia, was gored and seriously injured by a large male
bison in Yellowstone, next to the Lake Hotel. Moore and a friend had approached to within 15 feet of
the bison to have their pictures taken. While they were standing with their backs to the animal, it
charged. Moore's companion escaped, but Moore received a severe puncture wound in his right thigh and
was taken by ambulance to a hospital in Jackson for treatment.
watching for falling rocks
A visitor setting up camp at Lake more...