Respond Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    *Make up fake acronyms. On-line veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) and RTFM (read the f... manual) to show that they're "hip" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for ("You don't know? RDFM").
    *WRITE ALL YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE PERIODS OR RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE ALSO USE A LOT OF !!! AND DDOOUUBBLLEESS TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE!!!
    *When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content of their messages. When they respond testily to your 'creative criticism," do it again. Continue until they go away.
    *Software and files offered on-line are often "compressed" so that it won't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a more...

    1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!" 2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector. 3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points. 4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook. 5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond "that's my name, don't wear it out!" 6. Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute". 7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would go if he died tomorrow. 8. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder. 9. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board. 10. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode of Starsky and Hutch.

    HUSBAND 1.0 There are alot of pressures to upgrade from Boyfriend 6.0
    to Husband 1.0. However before doing so make sure you understand the
    implications of this change...
    For one, system activity will be severely limited and you will be compelled
    to instigate rigorous daily routines in space management, garbage disposal
    and disc cleaning often with an accompanying increase in system
    administration. This program can also be a drain on many resources and
    demand constant attention. You will encounter an increased amount of
    interrupts and error messages, while the program often cancels processes
    without warning, very often crashing the system. In addition, Husband
    1.0 often refuses to respond to your commands and frequently appears to
    be running processes which you have not authorised. If this happens
    alot, do not respond to any interactive requests from the program and
    severely limit demand for extra bytes.
    Every evening there will more...

    Pest-by-Modem Here's how to be a pest-by-modem:*Make up fake acronyms. On-line veterans like to use abbreviations likeIMHO (in my humble opinion) and RTFM (read the f... manual) to showthat they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand foranything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse toexplain what they stand for ("You don't know? RTFM").*WRITE ALL YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE PERIODS OR RETURNS SOTHAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE ALSOUSE A LOT OF !!! AND DDOOUUBBLLEESS TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUTBEING HERE!!!*When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling andpoint out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content oftheir messages. When they respond testily to your 'creative criticism,"do it again. Continue until they go away.*Software and files offered on-line are often "compressed" so that itwon't take so long to travel over the more...

    Q- How does a blonde respond to a boy when he says I got beef?
    A- When can i jerk?
    Q- How does a blonde respond when her friend says "me and some girl had beef at the chinese restaurant earlier today"?
    A- dID YOU TWO HAVE THAT WITH BROCOLLI.
    Q- What did the girl say to the cat?
    A- mE got pussy too?

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