Residents Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a matter of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail.
    What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it's something much more economically debilitating - and permanent.
    Three American lawyers have become the first foreign attorneys permitted to practice law in Japan. What's more, two of them are from New York!
    The decline has begun.
    Japan has one attorney for every 10,000 residents, compared to the U.S. ratio of one attorney for every 390 residents. For every 100 attorneys trained in Japan, there are 1,000 engineers. In the United States, that ratio is reversed.
    But a law that became effective on April 1 permits foreigners to practice in Japan for the first time since 1955. Already, an additional 20 American and six British lawyers have applied for more...

    Temperatures
    60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on. 50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat. 45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert. 40 degrees - You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming. 35 degrees - Italians cars don't start. 32 degrees - Water freezes. 30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia. 25 degrees - Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming. 20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation farther south. 15 degrees - French cars don't start, cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you. 10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going. 5 degrees - American cars don't start. 0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts. -10 degrees - German cars don't start, eyes freeze shut when you step outside. -15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, more...

    Degrees (Fahrenheit)
    * 65 degrees:
    Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
    * 60 degrees:
    Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
    * 50 degrees:
    Miami residents turn on the heat
    * 45 degrees:
    Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
    * 40 degrees:
    You can see your breath
    Californians shiver uncontrollably
    Minnesotans go swimming
    * 35 degrees:
    Italian cars don't start
    * 32 degrees:
    Water freezes
    * 30 degrees:
    You plan your vacation to Australia
    * 25 degrees:
    Ohio water freezes
    Californians weep pitiably
    Minnesotans eat ice cream
    Canadians go swimming
    * 20 degrees:
    Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
    New York City water freezes
    Miami residents plan vacation further South
    * 15 degrees:
    French cars don't start
    Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
    * 10 degrees:
    You need jumper cables to get the car going
    * 5 degrees:
    American cars more...

    How Cold Is Cold?

    60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)

    50 Miami residents turn on the heat

    40 You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming

    35 Italian cars don't start

    32 Water freezes

    30 You plan your vacation to Australia

    25 Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming

    20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further South

    15 French cars don't start, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

    10 You need jumper cables to get the car going

    5 American cars don't start

    0 Alaskans put on T-shirts

    -10 German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink

    -15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami more...

    Temperatures60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on. 50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat. 45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert. 40 degrees - You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming. 35 degrees - Italians cars don't start. 32 degrees - Water freezes. 30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia. 25 degrees - Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming. 20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation farther south. 15 degrees - French cars don't start, cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you. 10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going. 5 degrees - American cars don't start. 0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts. -10 degrees - German cars don't start, eyes freeze shut when you step outside. -15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans more...

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