Reinstated Jokes

To the citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth
II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, Commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine
whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing more...

Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license."Will there be any change of address?" the clerk inquired."No," I replied."Oh, good," she said, clearly delighted. "You got the house."

Michael Vick was reinstated to the NFLafter being absent for 2 seasons while serving a 2 year prison sentence for federalcharges of bankrolling a dog fighting operation. During his 3 year prison probation period, Vickwill be working with the Humane Society of theUnited States on anti-dog fightingcampaigns. Inother news, Bernie Madoff will be giving a lecture today on Responsible FiscalPlanning in the recreation room of FCI Butner FederalCorrectional Institution.