Regulations Jokes

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    NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS
    Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 1200
    1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
    2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
    3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
    4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
    5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
    6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW
    dealerships.
    7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
    8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be more...

    A couple is travelling on a long distance overnight flight. Everyone is slowly drifting off. The flight attendants have served the last round of coffee and drinks, dimmed the cabin lights, and are resting. The couple carefully check over their fellow passengers. Finally, everyone appears to be asleep. One at a time, they furtively make their way to the bathroom at the rear of the cabin. Before closing the door, the last one in has a quick glance back over the cabin to make sure they haven't been spotted. There's rustling of clothes as they prepare themselves and get comfortable:
    "Ready, dear?"
    "Yes, darling."
    "Oh, good! You remembered the condom."
    "Quick, let's get it on and get started."
    A little more rustling, then:
    "Aaahhh!"
    "Oohhhh!"
    Suddenly, the intercom comes to life:
    "This is your Captain speaking."
    "To the two people in the toilet - we know exactly what you're up more...

    A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin."
    This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon.
    She responded:
    My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, 'It's gonna be great!'
    My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.
    My third husband was from Field Services and constantly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but he just couldn't get the system up.
    My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.
    My more...

    A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin."This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon.She responded:My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, 'It's gonna be great!'My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.My third husband was from Field Services and constantly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but he just couldn't get the system up.My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.My fifth husband was from the more...

    NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 1200
    1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
    2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
    3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
    4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
    5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
    6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
    7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
    8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a more...

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