Refund Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    ~~You Know You're Having a Bad Day When... ~~
    1. Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists.
    2. You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.
    3. Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
    4. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
    5.You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.
    6.You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
    7.Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
    8. Your income tax refund check bounces.
    9. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
    10. You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
    11. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.
    12. Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
    13. Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
    14. The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your future.
    15. People think more...

    A blonde buys a thermos. Two days later, she's back in the shop and wants a refund. The sales person asks her why she's returning it. She replies, "Well, when I bought it, you said it would keep hot things hot and cold things cold, but yesterday I took some coffee and ice-cream to work for after lunch, and all that came out was a luke-warm slush!"

    A lawyer died and was greeted at the pearly gates by St. Peter. "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" St. Peter asked him.
    After thinking for a moment, the lawyer replied, "I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street about a week ago."
    St. Peter asked Gabriel to check this out and, sure enough, it was true.
    "That's fine," said St. Peter, "but not quite enough to get you into Heaven."
    "That's more!" declared the lawyer. "Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter."
    Again St. Peter instructed Gabriel to check this out. A moment later, Gabriel confirmed that this too was true.
    Leaning closer and whispering to Gabriel, St. Peter asked, "What do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
    Glancing over at the lawyer, Gabriel replied, "I suggest we refund him his fifty cents and tell him to go to hell."

    Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists. You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned. Your twin sister forgets your birthday. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold. You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning. Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party. Your income tax refund check bounces. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture. You wake up and your braces are stuck together. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband. You put both contacts into the same eye. Your mother approves of the person you're dating. Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate. You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your Mastercard. Nothing you own is actually paid for. Everyone loves your driver's licence picture, but you think it looks awful. The health inspector condems more...

    A woman entered a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to return a coffee maker for refund because it didn't work. The clerk told her that he couldn't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
    All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and yelled, "Grab my Breasts! Grab my breasts!"
    The clerk didn't know what to do, so he called the store manager who asked her if he could help.
    She explained that she wanted to return the coffee maker for refund because it didn't work, and he told her that he would not give her a refund because she bought it on special.
    Once again she yelled, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
    The manager was taken aback and asked her why she was yelling that particular phrase.
    She replied, "Because I like my breasts grabbed when I'm getting screwed!"

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