Rectal Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Rectal Examination

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man visits the doctor because he is due to have his first rectal examination.
    The nurse tells him to get undressed behind the screen.
    After putting on his gown, he notices there are three items on the table next to his bed- a tube of K-Y Jelly, a pair of medical latex gloves and a bottle of beer.
    The doctor enters the room.
    "I'm a little confused." The patient says to him, "I know what the K-Y Jelly and the gloves are for, but what's with the bottle of beer?""Nurse!" The doctor yells furiously, "I said a butt light!"

    Coping With Job Stress

    Hot 2 years ago

    At a seminar called "Stress and Disease" by Dr. Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology, gave an example of a coping skill for job stress which I would like to share with you.

    When you have had one of those' Take This Job And Shove It' days, try this:

    On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Q-tip". Be sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy.

    Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer, remove the thermometer, and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.

    Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print more...

    Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers? They cause too much brain damage.

    Coping With Stress

    Hot 3 years ago

    At a seminar called "Stress and Disease" by Dr. Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology, gave an example of a coping skill for job stress which I would like to share with you.

    When you have had one of those TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT days, try this:

    On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Q-tip." Be sure that you get this brand.

    When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed.

    Open the package containing the thermometer, remove the thermometer, and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the more...

    B.O. Blonde

    Hot 5 years ago

    A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectal deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectal deodorant, and never have.Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more."I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any.""But, I always buy it here," says the blonde."Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist."Yes," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant".Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container...
    "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

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