Recount Jokes

...after widespread corruption and voter fraud were found in Afghanistan's recent presidential election, the United States has sent over a delegation from the Florida Board of Elections to do another recount and certify a winner. The challenger Abdullah Abdullah has quit the race in protest. The recount was completed, and George Bush has been declared the winner.

FLORIDA: If you think we can't vote, wait till you see us drive.FLORIDA: Home of electile dysfunction.FLORIDA: We count more than you do.FLORIDA: If you don't like the way we count then take I-95 and visit one of the other 56 states.FLORIDA: We've been Gored by the bull of politics and we're Bushed.FLORIDA: Relax, Retire, Re-vote.FLORIDA: Viagra voters do it again! FLORIDA: What comes after 17,311? FLORIDA: Where your vote counts and counts and counts.FLORIDA: This is what you get for taking Elian away from us.FLORIDA: We don't just cheat in football.FLORIDA: We're number one! Wait! Recount! FLORIDA: So nice, we let you vote twice.FLORIDA: We put the "duh" in Florida.FLORIDA: This isn't good when Alabama counts faster than us! FLORIDA: Once is never enough! FLORIDA: We would do a recount but we've run out of fingers and toes! FLORIDA: Don't blame me, I voted for Gore, I think.FLORIDA: Don't blame me, my vote didn't count.FLORIDA: We're retired -no wait- we're retarded! more...

Hello out there all people of the world.
This is Santa and I just wanted to let you know that Christmas may be a little late this year. See after checking all the boxes and tallying them up, I found some problems with the results.
The first result showed:
428, 534, 120 Good
428, 523, 119 Bad
The second result showed:
428, 534, 118 Good
428, 523, 121 Bad
So you see, I can't, with good faith, go out and deliver presents while knowing I could have made a mistake. Maybe Little Johnny was good for once, then again, maybe not. So, I have enlisted the help of all my elves and the Mrs. To help do a recount. We hope to have this finished up by 5pm on the 24th of December, but there is a possibility that it might take longer. You see the tally cards were not quite clear to me, although I made them my-self, I forgot what they meant.
You know, Good... and Bad??? And the check marks I used were not all the same, some went left, some right, some were more...

After the recount, the results were certified by Katherine Harris.

RECOUNT DEMANDED BY METS
NEW YORK (AP) -The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series. The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players Union. "We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been denied our right to hit."
One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches. Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had more...