Rangers Jokes

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    Lawyers in the Park

    Hot 11 months ago

    A guy from Czechslovakia was visiting his cousin the lawyer in California, and they went for a hike in Yellowstone Park. While they were hiking they were attacked by 2 bears, one male and one female. The male bear dismembered and ate the Czechslovakian guy, but the lawyer managed to escape.
    He ran straight to the nearest Rangers station, and told them what had happened, and they sent out a group of rangers to see what was going on. Sure enough, the Rangers arrived at the place that the lawyer mentioned, and there were the female and the male bears.
    So one of the Rangers took his rifle and shot the female. The lawyer turned to the ranger and asked "Why did you shoot the female? - it was the male that ate my friend"
    So the Ranger replies "Would you believe a lawyer if he told you that the Czech is in the male?"

    True story: A friend's mom was driving in Canada. She was going through a park area. She sped up. Suddenly, she was pulled over by a park ranger. She decided to see if she could be cute and get herself out of a speeding ticket. When the officer approached her car, she asked innocently, "Gee, officer, did you pull me over to give me a ticket to the policemen's ball?"To that, he replied, "No ma'am. We're Rangers! We don't have any balls!" He continued to write down some information.After about a half a minute, the ranger looked up, turned red, and muttered, "Never mind." He closed his ticket book, got in his car, and drove off - no ticket was issued.

    True story: A friend's mom was driving in Canada. She was going through a park area. She sped up. Suddenly, she was pulled over by a park ranger. She decided to see if she could be cute and get herself out of a speeding ticket. When the officer approached her car, she asked innocently, "Gee, officer, did you pull me over to give me a ticket to the policemen's ball?"
    To that, he replied, "No ma'am. We're Rangers! We don't have any balls!" He continued to write down some information.
    After about a half a minute, the ranger looked up, turned red, and muttered, "Never mind." He closed his ticket book, got in his car, and drove off - no ticket was issued.

    Who Says There's No Such Thing As a Stupid Question?
    These are questions that people actually asked of Park
    Rangers around the country, proving once again that there
    is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity.
    (Source: Outside Magazine, May 1995, pp. 120-121)
    Grand Canyon National Park
    Was this man-made?
    Do you light it up at night?
    I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -
    where is it?
    Is the mule train air conditioned?
    So where are the faces of the presidents?
    Everglades National Park
    Are the alligators real?
    Are the baby alligators for sale?
    Where are all the rides?
    What time does the two o'clock bus leave?
    Denali National Park (Alaska)
    What time do you feed the bears?
    Can you show me where the yeti lives?
    How often do you mow the tundra?
    How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
    Mesa Verde National Park
    Did people build this, or did Indians?
    Why did they build the ruins so more...

    Former President George W. Bush threw out the first pitch before the Texas Rangers' home opener. The Rangers went on to win the game, even though they had fewer runs.

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