Rambo Jokes

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    Shotgun Weddings

    Hot 1 year ago

    (From an article in the Globe & Mail, Jul 26, written by Bryan Johnson, in
    Pakistan:)
    First [he] tells of a pilot who spotted tracer bullets as he approached
    a runway in Northern Pakistan. So the pilot swung around and approached
    the runway from the other end only to find bullets winging by there too.
    So he tried to land on a road and cracked up.
    From whence came the bullets? Afghan rebels? Terrorists? No,
    just "one hell of a wedding party." In the Peshawar region, wedding
    guests can rent an AK-47 for a day for $2 or the use of a water buffalo.
    With tragic results. In one case, "jubilant" cousins accidentally
    "blasted away" the bridegroom's father. The wedding was postponed for 40
    days of mourning, then again celebrated amid "ecstatic volleys of flying
    lead."
    In another wedding in the region, shots from a wedding severed
    high tension electrical wires, the falling wires more...

    There's a new Rambo movie just released starring 61-year-old Sylvester Stallone.

    The movie is called "Rambo: Tired Blood"

    Q: What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with Rambo?
    A: You get a Gung-Ho Ho-Ho that, if your naughty, will be after your ass-Ho.

    Q: What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with Rambo?
    A: You get a Gung-Ho Ho-Ho that, if your naughty, will be after your ass-Ho.

    Being John Rambo at 62 has certain pluses and minuses:

    1) The only thing stiff in the morning are your knees.

    2) The bad guys can't sneak up on you: you pee 6 times a night.

    3) Your camp is littered with Icy Hot patches.

    4) You fall asleep while firing your M-60.

    5) You haven't had a good crap since the mid-90s.

    6) You're easier to track, they follow the scent of menthol (see #3).

    7) Your sciatica means the hot Asian chick gives you a back rub instead of a front rub.

    8) Medicaid hasn't kicked in yet.

    9) Rambo V to be filmed in The Villages, FL.

    10) Senior discounts at the Gun Shack.

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