Rail Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Suicidal Goat

    Hot 7 years ago

    A guy who was tired with life in the big city decided to take a vacation and go to the mountain, so he rented a chalet in the wilderness.
    One day, as he was strolling, he got to the edge of a precipice. He carefully looked down and backed quickly, amazed: "gee, is this deep!". He took a pebble and threw it in, to see how long it takes until it gets down. It took a while, so he thought "that's really deep"; then he found a big stone and tossed it, and when it hit the ground with an almost inaudible sound he reckoned "this is what I call deep". Having nothing else to do, he started to look around a found a large piece of rail. He strained a while, as it was pretty heavy, rusted and muddy, but he managed to push it over the cliff, and after some time, when he heard it hitting the ground with abig blast, he reasoned: "now that's something!".
    He had just seated himself to rest and start meditating at the abyssal dimensions, when he saw a more...

    A man came home VERY late, drunk as a skunk, to find his wife waiting for him at the door. "Where have you been?" she screams. "It's 4 in the morning!"
    He says, "Aww, I just stopped at this bar, I was only going to have one drink...but this bar, it was incredible. Everything in it was gold-plated. They had a gold rail under the bar, gold ashtrays, they served the drinks in gold shot glasses, the table posts were all gold-plated, even the mirror behind the bar was gold. The cash register was gold. I was so amazed by all this gold, I just kept ordering drinks, and so I could stay in the bar and look at it. Hell, even when I went to the Men's Room to take a leak, they had gold-plated urinals...man, I want to tell you, it was wonderful."
    "I don't believe that story for one goddamn minute," his wife said. "What was this place called?"
    "Hell," he replies, "I can't remember...I got too drunk, and I more...

    British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Forest. BR think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.

    Q: What do David Beckham and British rail trains have in common.
    A: They both go in and out of Victoria

    The collector asked Banta Singh for his rail ticket. Banta Singh searched his pockets but could not find it. 'Never mind,' reassured the collector, ' I will take your word that you bought your ticket.' 'That is very kind of you,' replied Banta Singh,'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.'

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