Pun Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
A roller blader was whizzing down the sidewalk and all of a sudden disappeared into a pool of quicksand....because he took everything for granite!
Lawyer's daughter Sue
Lawyer's sons Will, Court
Thief's son Rob
Doctor's son Bill
Fisherman's son Rod
Meteorologist's daughters Haley, Sunny
Back Hoe operator's sons Doug, Rocky
Hair stylist's sons Bob, Curly, Harry
Homeopathic doctor's son Herb
Justice of the peace's daughter Mary
Sound stage technician's son Mike
Hot-dog vendor's son Frank
Gambler's daughter Bette
Gambler's Son Chip
Exercise guru's son Jim
Exercise guru's daughter Belle
Cattle thief's son Russell
Painter's son Art
Iron worker's son Rusty
TV show star's daughter Emmy
Movie star's son Oscar
Housewife's son Dusty
Minister's daughters Faith, Hope, Charity
Televangelist's daughter Chastity
IRS agent's daughter Mony
Geneticist's son Gene
Espresso vendor's son Joe
Undertaker's son Barry
Gardener's son Moe
Florist's daughters Rose, Iris
Baker's daughter more...
It is believed that the stock markets go up and down with the rise and fall of the hemlines in ladies skirts and dresses.
Proof of this phenomenon is in the following historical facts:
- Glamour stocks and mini skirts soared in 1993.
- Conglomerates and hemlines went down in the spring of 1994.
- Hot pants led the Dow Jones up in 1971.
The advice to the investor then, is, "Don't sell until you see the heights of their thighs!"
A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a pile of tampon boxes stacked on a table in the corner with a sign on them saying "5 boxes for a dollar."
Well, the woman just could not believe this price so she asks the clerk if it was correct.
He said "Oh yes, 5 for a dollar."
She said "That can't be right!"
The clerk says "Oh yes, it's right! ! 5 boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."
I was driving down a lonely country road one cold winter day when it began to sleet pretty heavily. My windows were getting icy and my wiper blades were badly worn and quickly fell apart under the strain.
Unable to drive any further because of the ice building up on my front window I suddenly had a great idea. I stopped and began to overturn large rocks until I located two very lethargic hibernating rattle snakes. I grabbed them up, straightened them out flat and installed them on my blades and they worked just fine.
What! You've never heard of. . . wind chilled vipers?