Psalm Jokes

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    Corporate Lessons!

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    A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
    After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
    The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.
    Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again Said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak."
    Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her way.
    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go more...

    Always be well informed
    A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said,"Father, remember Psalm 129?"
    The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
    The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
    Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalm 129.
    It said, "Go forth and seek. Further on, you will find more...

    Psalm of BushBush is my shepherd I shall not lie
    He leadeth me beside the still farms and small towns.
    He restoreth my doubt in the Repulican party
    He guideth me down the path of untold debt for the party's sake.My wages he will freeze but my expenses runneth over my income.
    He cuteth taxes for the wealthiest surely.
    Poverty and hard living shall follow the Republican party
    and I shall live in a rented house forever.5,000 years ago, Moses said:
    "Park your camel, pick up your shovel, mount your ass,
    and I will lead you to the promised land."5,000 years later, Franklin D. Roosevelt said:
    "Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass, light up a camel
    this is the promised land."Today, Bush will steal your shovel, sell your camel, kick your ass,
    and tell you know there is no promised land.I am glad I am an American and I am glad that I am free
    but I wish I were a little dog and bush were a tree.

    Seen on a bumper sticker:
    Let us pray for President Clinton: Psalm 109:8
    Psalm 109:8
    O' Lord,
    May his days be few,
    and let another take his office.
    - Psalm 109:8 (KJV)

    THE NEW 23 PSALM
    In these days of increased jargonization, we feel sure that a new millennium version of the Bible is sure to be produced, incorporating much of this modern language. Perhaps it will be called the NMV-New Millennium Version. The 23rd Psalm would never be the same again. It may sound something like this:The Lord and I are in a shepherd/sheep situation, and I am in a position of negative need.He prostrates me in a green-belt grazing area, and conducts me
    directionally parallel to a non-torrential aqueous liquid.He restores to original satisfaction levels my psychological make-up.Notwithstanding the fact that I make ambulatory progress through the non-illuminated inter-hill mortality slot..terror sensations shall not be observed within me due to the proximity of the omnipotence.Your pastoral walking aid and quadrupled pickup unit introduce me into a pleasurific mood state.You design and produce a nutrient-bearing furniture type structure in the context of more...

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