Proposition Jokes

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    Makeover

    Hot 3 years ago

    There was a blonde named Candi. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes. So one day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible.

    With her new car, she went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the shepherd over.

    "That's a nice flock of sheep," she said.

    "Well, thank you," said the herder.

    "Tell you what... I have a proposition for you," said the woman.

    "Okay," replied the herder.

    "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" asked the woman.

    "Sure."

    So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382."

    "Wow!" said the herder, "That's amazing. You're exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep more...

    A blonde was getting tired of all the blonde jokes, and being treated as if she were stupid so one day, she decided to dye her hair and become a brunette. She then went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the shepard over. "That's a nice flock of sheep." she said.
    "Well thank you." said the herder.
    "Tell you what, I have a proposition for you." said the ex-blonde.
    "Okay," replied the herder.
    "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" asked the woman.
    "Sure," said the sheep herder. So the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382."
    "Wow," said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
    So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, more...

    Once upon a time there was a blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes and she was sick of all the blonde jokes.
    One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheepherder over.
    "That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.
    "Well thank you.", said the herder.
    v
    "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.
    "Okay.", replied the herder. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman.
    "Sure.", said the sheepherder. So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".
    "Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
    So the woman went and picked one more...

    Proof by example:
    The author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that it contains most of the ideas of the general Proof.
    Proof by intimidation:
    "Trivial."
    Proof by vigorous handwaving:
    Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.
    Proof by cumbersome notation:
    Best done with access to at least four alphabets and special symbols.
    Proof by exhaustion:
    An issue or two of a journal devoted to your Proof is useful.
    Proof by omission:
    'The reader may easily supply the details'
    "The other 253 cases are analogous"
    "..."
    Proof by obfuscation:
    A long plotless sequence of true and/or meaningless syntactically related statements.
    Proof by wishful citation:
    The author cites the negation, converse, or generalization of a theorem from the literature to support his claims.
    Proof by funding:
    How could three different government agencies be wrong?
    Proof by eminent authority:
    "I saw more...

    The man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a woman just passing and said, "Pardon me miss, do you happen to have the time?"In a strident voice, she responded, "How dare you make such a proposition to me!"The man snapped to attention in surprise and was uncomfortably aware that every pair of eyes in the place had turned to his direction. He mumbled, "I just asked for the time, miss."In an even louder voice, the woman shrieked, "I WILL CALL THE POLICE IF YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD!"Grabbing his drink and embarrassed very nearly to death, the man hastened to the far end of the room and huddled at a table, holding his breath and wondering how soon he could sneak out the door.Not more than half a minute later, the woman joined him. In a quiet voice, she said, "I'm terribly sorry to have embarrassed you, but I am a psychologist and I am studying the reaction of human beings to shocking statements."The man stared at her for more...

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