Proposal Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Joe had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?"
    "No, she sure didn't," sobbed Joe. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out."
    "Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? 'Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.' Did you tell her that?" asked his father.
    "Oh boy, dad, I got it all wrong," Joe groaned. "I said, 'Dear, your face would stop a clock!'"

    The proposal
    Shlomo and Hetty, an elderly widow and widower, had been dating for about three years when Shlomo finally decided to ask Hetty to marry him. She immediately said "yes".
    The next morning when he awoke, Shlomo couldn`t remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so. Wait, no, she looked at me funny..."
    After about an hour of trying to remember, but to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave Hetty a call.
    Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn`t remember her answer to his proposal.
    "Oh", Hetty said, "I`m so glad you called. I remembered saying `yes` to someone, but I couldn`t remember who it was."

    To find out, Take this handy quiz:
    You have prepared a proposal for your supervisor. The success of this
    proposal will mean increasing your salary 20%. In the middle of your
    proposal your supervisor leans over to look at your report and spits into
    your
    coffee.
    You:
    A. Tell him you take your coffee black.
    (b) Ask him if he has any communicable diseases.
    (c) Show him who's in command; promptly take a piss in his "In"
    basket.
    (d) Take a sip and comment how much better it tastes.
    You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an
    uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Since this is definitely a no-no,
    you:
    A. Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with one
    fluid motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril right up
    to the 4th joint.
    (b) Get everyone drunk and organize a nose picking contest with a
    prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first.
    (c) Drop your napkin on the more...

    An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said' yes'.

    The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was!' Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny...'

    After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

    ' Oh', she said,' I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying' yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was.'

    7 Glance = 1 Smile
    7 Smile = 1 Meeting
    7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
    7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
    7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
    And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
    So beware of glance!

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