Proctor Jokes / Recent Jokes

At Cambridge University during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:
Proctor: I beg your pardon?
Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
Proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale." Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.
Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

There were three guys that wanted to take a citizenship test. One was French one was Russian and of course the other Polish. They were given books to study from and the next day they were all ready to take the test. However, they were all good friends and one of them came up with a brilliant idea to write down the answers on a piece of paper and put it in their underwear. The proctor asked the Frenchman, "Who was the first president of the U.S." So the Frenchman looks down into his underwear and said, "George Washington." Then the proctor asked the Russian, "Who was the sixteenth president of the U.S.?" So the Russian looks down and says, "Abraham Lincoln." When it came to the Polish guy, the proctor said, "Who is the current President of the U.S.?" The Polak answered, "Fruit of the Loom."

Here is a true story regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day, a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale.

The following dialogue ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?
Student: I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
Proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale."

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the more...