Alex Trebek will be hosting a new reality show on Canadian television called'Canada's Next Prime Minister'. The show was originally going to be called, "The Biggest Hoser".
"Brussels police department, how may I assist you?"
"Uh.. yes.. I just got hit in the face with a cream pie."
"Okay, sir. Have you called the Brussels police department before?"
"Well, let me get a little information about you for our records. Your name?"
"Okay, sir. Your police department ID number is BP31415927. Please use this number the next time you call. Now, you say you were hit in the face with a pie?"
"Yes, I was just about to meet with the Belgian Prime Minister. One person distracted me while another hit me with a cream pie."
"We've had other customers report that they were hit in the face with a custard pie. Are you sure it was a cream pie?"
"Well, I have white stuff all over my face and I don't see any custard, so I more...
Mathmatician - 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, the rest follows by induction.
Statistician - 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is expermental error so throw it out, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, the rest follows by induction.
Computer Scientist - 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime,....
[This mail, copyright, the Indian masses - C.]
There will be branches of Olive Garden all over India and they will be called OZinda Bagicha!
The only vegetarian dish will be Eggplant Parmesan and it will be called Anda-Pauda Parmeshwaran!
All Vadapav Gaadis and Stalls will be selling Pizza and Pasta.
India's National Sport will be - of course, Soccer.
Laloo will lose his position as the national animal and will be replaced by Jayalalitha!
National vegetable - Zucchini!
There will be Pope John Paul's "yearly" visit TWICE every year!
Jahangir Art gallery will be renamed to "Michaelangelo's Confetti House"!
Men in Indian Army will wear Mini Skirts! (Yikes!)
And... the number one thing that will happen if Sonia Becomes the Prime Minister of India is...
All Sindhi People will get promotions in their positions because Madame thinks they are all ITALIANS! (Kotwani, Multani, Vaswani... after all they do resemble Mussolini, more...
10. "No, please, Data, go on. I find your list of synonyms for 'extinct' facinating..."
9. "Good work, Counsellor. If you hadn't told us those aliens had hostile intent, we would have been completely fooled by their plan."
8. "Jean-Luc, since the ship is in no danger at all and we're not about to die, I want to tell you..."
7. "The...doohickey...has gone all...funny, making that gizmo light up...the one that means the warp engines are...ya know...all messed up."
6. "Captain's Log, Stardate...damn. What's the date? Number One, what's today? No, I know it's Tuesday, what's the date? The STARdate!"
5. "Tea, Lemon Zinger, iced."
4. "Klingons do NOT wear frilly underwear...at least not on duty."
3. "Prime Directive? We don't need no steenkin' Prime Directive!"
2. "The aliens are locking their weapons on us...firing...a miss. Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can laugh more...