Prettier Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There are five things that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in an issue of Sassy magazine. The five questions are:
    1 - "What are you thinking?"
    2 - "Do you love me?"
    3 - "Do I look fat?"
    4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
    5 - "What would you do if I died?"
    What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:
    1 - "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five more...

    The five questions most feared by men are:1. What are you thinking about?
    2. Do you love me?
    3. Do I look fat?
    4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
    5. What would you do if I died?
    What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below, along with possible responses.
    Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is:"I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:a. Baseball.
    b. Football.
    c. How fat you are.
    d. How much prettier she is than you.
    e. How I would spend the insurance money if you more...

    What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example: 1 - "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things: a - Baseball b - Football c - How fat you are d - How much prettier she is than you e - How he would spend the insurance money if you diedAccording to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of more...

    The 5 toughest questions that women ask men, and the answers... The questions are: 1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i. e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses. Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. Baseball. b. Football. c. How fat you are. d. How much prettier she is than you. e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died. more...

    for your cnsideration
    PMS--Punishing Men's Stupidity
    PENIS--Protrusion exiting noticeably inferior sex
    SHOPPING--Smarter, Healthier, Obviously Prettier, Plus Incredibly Neater Gender
    SLAVE=Superior Lady Acquiring Vast Empire
    WINNER=Women Inevitably Negotiating New Empowered Roles
    BITCH=Bright Individual That Controls Him
    MALE=Men Are Losing Everywhere
    WOMEN=We Outclass Men Each Night
    GIRLS=Gifted Individuals Realizing Large Superiority
    FUTURE=Females Understand They Ultimately Rule Everywhere
    BABE=Body And Brain Excellence
    DAME=Dominant Against Men Everywhere
    HIS=Honors In Servitude
    SHE=Soon His Emperor
    LOVE=Lady Obtains Virtually Everything
    WORSHIP=We Obey Ruling Sisters Having Intense Power
    SHOPS=Smarter, Healthier, Obviously Prettier Sex
    HIM=Held In Mercilessly
    HER=His Eternal Ruler
    GUY=Gender Under You
    GAL=Goddess At Large
    BOYS=Babes Obedient Young Slave
    SKIRT=She more...

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