Presbyterian Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    For the love of...

    Hot 2 years ago

    Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.

    First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

    Then came the Methodist. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

    The Baptist turned to his wife and whispered nervously, "This doesn't look good, Fanny."

    Church Meeting

    Hot 2 years ago

    Three churches - Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian - worked together to sponsor a community- wide revival. After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another.

    The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained 4 new families."

    The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained 6 new families."

    The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest troublemakers!"

    A Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist pastor, along with their wives, were on a cruise. Suddenly a tidal wave came out of nowhere, swamped the ship and they all drowned. The next thing they knew, they were standing before St. Peter.
    Shaking his head, St. Peter first looked at the Presbyterian and his wife and said, "You cannot enter for you loved money too much. So much so, that you married a woman named Penny."
    St. Peter then turned to the Methodist and said, "I'm sorry for you cannot enter either. You loved food far too much. So much so that you married a woman named Candy."
    Hearing this, the Baptist nervously turned to his wife and whispered, "It doesn't look good, Fanny."

    Jewish bra

    Hot 6 years ago

    A man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York City.
    He tells the sales lady, "I would like a Jewish bra for my wife, size 34B."
    With a quizzical look, the sales lady asked, "What kind of bra?"
    He repeated "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish bra, and that you would know what she wanted."
    Ah...... now I remember," said the saleslady. "We don't get as many requests for them as we used to. Mostly our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra."
    Confused, and a little flustered, the man sked "So, what are the differences?"
    The sales lady responded. "It is really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses. The Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright."
    He mused on that information for a minute and said: "Hmmm. I know I'll regret asking, but more...

    A man walked into the ladies department of a store and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
    "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man, "There is more than one type?"
    "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."
    Relieved, the man asked about the types.
    The saleslady replied "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"
    Now befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
    The saleslady responded,
    "It is all really quite simple...
    The Catholic type
    supports the masses.
    The Salvation Army
    type lifts the fallen,
    The Presbyterian type
    keeps more...

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