Prank Jokes

(To be left on an answering machine, or as a general prank call)
"You know, the strangest thing happened to me today... I asked the devil for a condom, and he gave me three. I asked the devil for a dollar, and he gave me ten. Then I asked the devil for a ho and he gave me this number."

These three friends, a Dentist, a Carpenter, and an Electrician were sitting around trying to decide what prank to pull on a mutual friend. Their friend was getting married soon, and his good buddies just felt compelled to play some prank, as all good buddies would.
After sitting around brainstorming for a while, the Electrician had a thought, "I know! I know! I can wire the bed so that when our friend and his new bride sit on it and touch one another, they'll get a good shock."
The Carpenter perked up and added, "and I can rig the bed so that when they get shocked and jump apart, the bed will collapse."
The Dentist just sat in silence, because he couldn't think of a thing to do.
After the fortunate couple's wedding and honeymoon, the groom called his friends together for a chat. He said to them, "Well, when we sat on the bed and got a shock, it wasn't that bad. And then when we jumped apart and the bed fell in, we had a good laugh. But who's more...

Tell someone if they rub their palm really hard and it smells like peanut butter they will be rich one day...

then when they are smelling their palm push their arm into them and they will slap themself in the face.

All Purpose Excuse Form is designed to get you out of the trouble that you may have encountered. Whenever there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and use it. You'll be surprised how effective this form can be!
Dear
Mom
Dad
love of my life
Assistant Principal
Local Police Chief,
Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your
Car
House
Pet
Espresso maker
Left arm
was severely damaged by my
infantile
puerile
inept
comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic
woefully under appreciated prank.
How could I have known that the
car
jet ski
large helium balloon
rodent driven sledge
Zamboni
I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your
house
wife
Cub Scout troop
1/16th sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete with lightbulb in the torch
priceless more...

All-Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten in. Whenever there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and use it. You'll be surprised how effective this form can be! Dear:
a) Mom,
b) Dad,
c) Love of my life,
d) Assistant Principal,
e) Local Police Chief,
Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your
a) car
b) house
c) pet
d) espresso maker
e) left arm
was severely damaged by my
a) infantile
b) puerile
c) inept
d) comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic
e) woefully under-appreciated
prank.
How could I have known that the
a) car
b) jet ski
c) large helium balloon
d) rodent-driven sledge
e) zamboni
I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should nothave pointed it in the direction of your
a) house,
b) wife,
c) Cub Scout troop,
d) 1/16th-sized replica of the more...