Posters Jokes

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    The disappointed

    Hot 3 years ago

    The disappointed salesman of Coke returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
    The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic.
    So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters. The first poster is a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place".
    "That should have worked", said the friend."
    He replied, "Well, I didn't know Arabic, neither did I realize that Arabs read from right to left..."

    How many internet group posters does it take to change a light bulb?
    1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light
    bulb could have been changed differently
    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
    27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
    53 to flame the spell checkers
    41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
    6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"... another 6 to
    condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
    2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
    15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light
    bulb" is perfectly correct
    156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation
    of their "acceptable use policy"
    109 to post that this group is not about more...

    The following is an excerpt of an article in the April issue of Saturday Night magazine by John Fraser the (now) former editor.
    For those who don't know, the province of Ontario has set in place a policy of "zero tolerance" for harassment and discrimination at universities. This excerpt really pokes fun at the potential misuse and abuse of such a policy.
    Dear H & D officer,
    I am a female graduate student with an alternative lifestyle. Our history department has invited an international scholar named Simon Schama to lecture here next month. The title of his talk is "Dykes and Discord: The role of land reclamation in 17th century Dutch domestic policy." Posters have been plastered all over our campus, causing snickering, and I have been made to feel uneasy. Does the FRAMEWORK have any remedy?
    You bet it does! There is "zero tolerance" for anything that makes you feel a loss of self-esteem, and the FRAMEWORK clearly states the "visitors more...

    Top 20 Sayings We'd Like To See On Those Office Inspirational Posters:
    1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
    2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
    3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
    4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
    5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
    6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
    7. Plagiarism saves time.
    8. If at first you don't succeed, try management.
    9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
    10. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
    11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
    12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people more...

    Top 20 Sayings We'd Like To See On Those Office Inspirational Posters:1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.7. Plagiarism saves time.8. If at first you don't succeed, try management.9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.10. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.13. We waste time so you don't have to.14. more...

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