Postal Jokes

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    BLAMESTORMING: Sitting in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
    SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, criticizes on everything, and then leaves.
    CHAINSAW CONSULTANT: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
    CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
    IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always have their idea generators running.
    MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
    PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
    SITCOMs: (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
    SQUIRT THE BIRD: To transmit a signal to a satellite.
    STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce more...

    I don't understand these complaints about the postal service. Time was,
    you could put a two-cent stamp on a letter and mail it, and it would
    arrive at its destination in two days. Now you put a twenty-five-cent
    stamp on a letter and it can take three to four weeks to arrive.
    Still only a penny a day!
    (From the letter column in Harper's Magazine, in response to an article
    about the US Post Office.)

    New Corporate Buzz Words for the 90's Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively. Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and then leaves. Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles. Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running. Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. more...

    Off to Welfare recepients, virgins, postal workers, very large people, mild sexual content, etc, etc, etc.
    The new Republican agenda calls for elimination of welfare payments for a third child. They're calling it "Three Tykes and You're Out".
    While in Hawaii, President Clinton visited volcanoes. He really isn't interested in volcanoes, he was just looking for virgins.
    Progress has been slow in the Postal Service contract talks. Postal strikes are forbidden by law, but that hasn't stopped workers from staging job actions such as delivering mail undamaged, on time and to the right address...
    Speaking of the Post Office... The new Nixon stamp is different from other stamps. According to the postmaster, you'll be able to accuse the stamp of a cover up, you just won't be able to make it stick. In order to make the new Marilyn Monroe stamp stick, you have to lick it a bunch of times. Oddly enough, most guys don't seem to mind.
    A Sellersville, Pa. woman who more...

    This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the
    Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on
    Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS
    only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter
    Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on
    exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).
    There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is
    pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact,
    it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the
    postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system.
    You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's
    Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next
    day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to more...

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