Poor Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a small town in the rural south, poor, fun-loving, good-ole'-boy
Billy Bob died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad, and the morgue needed
someone to identify the body. So, his two buddies, Jimmy Lee and Donnie Ray,
went down to the morgue.
Jimmy Lee went in first, and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Jimmy Lee said "Yep, he's burnt so bad, I can't tell from the front. Roll him over."
So the mortician rolled him over. Jimmy Lee took one look at his ass and
said "Hell no, that ain't Billy Bob."
The mortician didn't say anything but thought that was kind of
strange. Then he brought in Donnie Ray to identify. the body. Donnie Ray took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt real bad, rollhim over."
The mortician rolled him over. Donnie Ray looked down at his ass and said
"No, that ain't Billy Bob."
The mortician said "How can you tell?" Donnie Ray said "Well, Billy Bob had two more...

Yo momma is so poor

Hot 2 years ago

yo mama is so poor i lit a ciggarette and she sang "clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the lord we now got heat."

yo moma so poor i saw her kicking a trash can down the street i said what are you doing and she said moving

yo moma so poor i steped on a cigarette in her house and she said who turned off the lights.

your mama is so poor when you walk in the front door you're walking out the back.

yo momma so poor I stepped on a penny in your front yard and she yelled out
the window, "Get off my life savings!"

Valentine's Day

Hot 7 years ago

A
rich man and a poor man are talking about what they
gave their wives for Valentine's Day. The rich man
says "I got my wife a Mercedes and a 3 CRT. diamond
ring." The poor man says "Why did you get her both?"
"Because if she doesn't like one she always has the other...what did you get
your wife?" The poor man replies, "I got her slippers and a dildo." The rich
man says "Why did you get her a dildo?" The poor man says, "So if she doesn't
like the slippers, she can go f*ck herself."

This Miserable Life

Hot 3 years ago

There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He sits motionless, staring
like that for half-an-hour.
Then, this big guy breezes into the bar, steps next to him, reaches over, takes the drink from this
poor guy, and just drinks it all down. At that, the poor man starts crying.
The big guy, embarrassed, says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I
just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that," replies the little guy. "It's just that today is the worst day of my life!"
" First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, who has a furious temper, fired
me! Then, when I left the building, I found out that my car had been stolen! The police filled out
some forms, but said they could do nothing."
"So next I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found
that I left my more...

Politically Correct Little Red Riding HoodThere once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who livedon the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants thatwould probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time tostudy them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred toas "mother", although she didn't mean to imply by this term that she would havethought less of the person if a close biological link did not in fact exist. Nor did she intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional households, although she was sorry if this was the impression conveyed. One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically grown fruit andmineral water to her grandmother's house." But mother, won't this be stealing work from the unionized people whohave struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages betweenvarious people in the woods?" Red Riding Hood's mother assured her that she had more...

Disability

Hot 7 years ago

A Republican, a Libertarian, and a Democrat are seated separately in a restaurant when a poor man walks in; unbeknownst to any of them, it is Jesus.

The Republican summons the waiter and asks him to serve the poor man the best food in the house and put it on his tab; the waiter does so. The Libertarian asks the waiter to please serve the poor man iced tea and to put it on his tab. The waiter does so. The Democrat then asks the waiter to bring the poor man pecan pie with ice cream and to put it on his tab.

When Jesus is finished eating, He goes over to the Republican and says, "I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat. Thank you. I see you are blind." and He touches the man's eye, and it is healed.

Jesus then goes over to the Libertarian and says, "I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink. Thank you. I see you have a bad arm." and He touches the man's arm, and it is healed.

Then Jesus walks over to the more...

Outrageous Vet Bill

Hot 1 year ago

A man, carrying a very limp dog, entered the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the vet took out his stethoscope and placed the receptor on the dog's chest.
He listened for a moment or two, shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but your dog has passed away."
"What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't even done any tests on him. I demand a second opinion!"
With that, the vet turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work and checked the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook its head and barked.
The vet then took the dog out and returned a few moments later with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table.
As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook its head, meowed, jumped off the table and ran out of the room.
The vet handed the man a bill for $650. The more...