Poking Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Gentleman and the Waiter

    Hot 5 years ago

    THE FOLLOWING STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT USAGE OF OBSCENE LANGUAGE IN A SEXUAL
    CONTEXT. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE BELOW THE ACCEPTABLE AGE OF 18 YEARS. THE
    AUTHOR IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY VIOLATION OR IGNORANCE OF THIS WARNING.

    There was once a posh gentleman who went to this luxurious, and highly
    pompous restaurant for a lavish dinner. He called a waiter, asked for the
    menu card, and then ordered a French soup a la' creme. Moments later, the
    waiter returned with the soup with his index finger poked inside the
    soup-bowl. Seeing this disgusting sight, the gentleman was dismayed, but
    with regard to his gentlemanly manner, remained quiet. He then ordered for
    apetizers, and the main course.
    During each of his courses, he noticed that the waiter was always poking his
    thumb into the dish. This time, the man was utterly annoyed, but still
    stayed calm, forcing his urging desire to punch the waiter, to regress.
    After enjoying more...

    A young man stood in front of the mirror admiring his well-built and tanned body, when he realised that his PENIS was the only part of his body not tanned, hence determined to get his PENIS tanned, he ran to the beach again.
    Once on the beach, he buried himself except his PENIS, which he left poking out of the sand.
    Strolling down the beach were two old ladies. They came across the PENIS poking out of the sand. One old lady using her cane, knocked it from side to side saying, "There is no justice in the world today."
    "What do you mean" asked the other.
    "Look when I was 20, I was curious about it,
    When I was 30 I enjoyed it,
    When I was 40 I asked for it,
    When I was 50 I had to pay for it,
    When I was 60 I prayed for it,
    When I was 70 I forgot about it,
    Now that I am 80, the bloody things are growing wild
    and I am too old to SQUAT"

    Suzanne went to church on sunday.She went to bible shool.The teacher asks "Who made the heavens and the earth?"Ned comes around and pokes Suzanne in the back of the head."Oh my God", shouted Suzaanne.Thats correct said the teacher.
    "Who died for our sins on the cross?"Old ned pokes her again, "Jesus christ", shouted suzanne.
    What did Adam say to God when Adam was poking him with a stick? Ned pokes her again.If you keep poking me with that thing im gonna shove it up your ass.

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    Knife in the back more...

    A man is sitting in a bar and all of a sudden an alien starts poking him. The man turns around and asks the alien to stop poking him. The alien stops poking him for a minute and starts poking him again. The man turns back around and says, "If you don't stop poking me I'll take you outside and beat the shit out of you! Again the alien stops poking him for one minute and then starts again. The man is so frustrated that he takes the alien outside and beats the shit out of him. Still the alien starts poking him after a minute. The man turns around and asks the alien why it needs to poke him and the alien says, " Oh this is poking? On my planet it is called sex!"

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