Poker Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly' get out of jail free' card.

    Lawyers Playing Poker

    Hot 2 years ago

    A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker.
    “I win!” said Johnson, at which point Henderson threw down his cards.
    “That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson is cheating!!!”
    “How can you tell?”
    Phillips asked.“Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!”

    Doctor's Poker Game...

    Hot 6 years ago

    A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
    "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.
    "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
    As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
    "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"

    Full House!

    Hot 3 years ago

    Little Johnny has a question, so he goes around the house to find his
    father. He opens his dad's bedroom door and finds his mom and dad
    humping away on the bed! "Dad!" says Johnny, "What are you doing!"
    Johhny's father stops humping for a second and says "Well, Johnny, I'm
    playing poker...and your mother's the wild card". "Oh,"says Johnny and he leaves the room.
    Still in need of an answer to his question, Little Johnny set out to
    look for his big brother, Ernie. He opens his brother's bedroom door and finds Ernie and his sister Thelma humping away! "Ernie!" cried Johnny, "What are you doing!". Ernie stops humping for a second and says, "Well...I'm playing poker, Johnny... and Thelma is the wildcard. "Oh", says Johnny and he leaves the room.
    Later, Johnny's dad approached Johnny's room to call him to dinner. He
    opens Johnny's bedroom door and finds Johnny wacking off like it more...

    Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?" They cut cards. Goldberg picks the two of clubs and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door. The wife answers thru the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a Poker game and is afraid to come home. "Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife. "I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.

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