Poem Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Poetry Finals

    Hot 3 years ago

    The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M.

    The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu."

    The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:

    Slowly across the desert sand

    Trekked the dusty caravan.

    Men on camels, two by two

    Destination--Timbuktu.

    The audience went wild! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that? The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:

    Tim and me, a-huntin' went.

    Met three whores in a more...

    Poetry Contest Finals

    Hot 3 years ago

    The National Poetry Contest was down to two finalists, a Harvard graduate and a redneck.
    The contest rules allowed each of them a maximum of two minutes to compose a four line poem containing the word Timbuktu.
    The Harvard graduate was the first to recite his:
    "Slowly across the desert sand
    Trekked the dusty caravan.
    Men on camels, two by two
    Destination - Timbuktu."
    The crowd went wild. It didn't seem possible that the redneck would be able to top that. Finally, with a few seconds left, the redneck jumped up and was ready to recite his poem:
    "Me and Tim a huntin' went,
    Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
    They was three and we was two,
    I bucked one and Timbuktu."

    Timbucktoo

    Hot 3 years ago

    It seems that two of the great Romantic British Poets, Shelly and Keats died on the same day.
    When they got to heaven St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I only have room for one poet. I'll tell you what I'll do. Each of you must make up a poem using the word 'Timbuctoo.' The one who creates the best poem I'll let into heaven."
    So Shelly goes first. He thinks a bit and after a few moments, he starts, "I stood upon the burning sand gazing at a far off land. A caravan came into view it's destination: Timbuctoo."
    "Very good!" says St. Peter, "Keats it's your turn. Do you think you can top that one?"
    Keats just smiled and started his poem: "Tim and I a hunting went, and found three maidens in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I bucked one and Timbuctoo."

    Redneck Poetry

    Hot 1 week ago

    The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M.
    The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu".
    The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
    Slowly across the desert sand Trekked the dusty caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination-Timbuktu.
    The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
    Tim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three whores in a pop-up tent. They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu.

    To determine YOUR personality. Check the gift you'd most like to get.
    Candy
    Flowers
    A sweet poem
    Sex
    Dinner/Dancing
    Waffle iron
    If you answered...
    CANDY, It means that...
    You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share...
    OR
    you're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything even true love.
    FLOWERS, It means that...
    You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture...
    OR
    you get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die.
    A SWEET POEM, It means that...
    You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word...
    OR
    you're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word.
    SEX, It means that...
    You are a passionate soul, a free spirit who is not afraid to express your more...

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